#WHICH ONE OF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THE NOTIF

[xxplastic-cubexx]

good morning chat

[maknaesdancersrappers]

devoted 2.

part 17.

Overall warning/s: kinkier smut (eg. voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc.) character death, dark themes

Chapter warning/s: vulgar language, violence, self harm, stalking, kidnapping

Just how devoted is Jaehyun to you?

prev: part 16

wc: 6.9k nice

November 8.

You carefully swept the doe foot applicator of your favorite gloss over your lips, smacking them together to even out the product. It had a soft strawberry scent and flavor that gave your lips just the right amount of sheen. This was the last part of your makeup routine, satisfied with how you kept your face as bare as possible but covered any blemishes and brightened up the darkness under your eyes. 

Today was your first date with Jaehyun.

The first semester was ending which meant you weren’t going to be classmates anymore. For the longest time, you were both meeting up at the library or the quad to study — even if it was for different subjects. But a few days ago, Jaehyun ran after you when class finished as you were rushing to your next one for a quiz, and he asked you out on a date.

You were elated, bashfully accepting his invitation and completely distracted for the entire day at the thought of going on an actual date with your crush. You initially believed that the feelings were one sided, he didn’t seem to be interested in you and was just naturally friendly. You’ve seen him around campus hanging out with other people — mostly girls, so you didn’t feel necessarily special when he met up with you at the library.

Your phone chimed as it received a text and you peered down to see the notification.

I couldn’t wait. I’m outside your dorm to pick you up.

You let out a quiet sound of surprise, rushing outside to the living room of your shared apartment to look outside the window there that was right above the entrance of the building. You saw Jaehyun leaning against the brick half wall that enclosed the property your dorm was in. He was on his phone, probably waiting for your reply.

Instead, you gathered up everything into your purse and ran out the door.

“Hey.” Jaehyun greeted you with a smile when you called out to him. He was in ripped, baggy jeans, a white shirt that fit just right, and a neutral cardigan. You felt relieved to know that you dressed just as casual as he did by sporting tight fitting, but stretchable jeans and a nude chiffon blouse.

“Hi.” You breathed, hoping it wasn’t obvious you were excited. “H-how… how did you know where my dorm was?”

His forehead scrunched ever so gently, “You mentioned it in passing when I offered to walk you home one time.”

“Oh.” You do recall him offering to walk with you back to your dorm multiple times, especially when it got too late that the librarians themselves were the ones kicking you out. You were too shy to let him, mostly because you also didn’t want to bother him with his own journey back to his place.

“Well, shall we? There’s this cafe I’ve been meaning to try in town.”

You nodded your head, taking a step forward but faltering when he just continued to smile down at you. “Is something wrong?”

He shook his head, ears a little pinker than usual, “No, sorry. Nothing’s wrong. You just look extra cute today.”

You could feel your face burst into heat at his words, “O-oh, thank you…”

Jaehyun chuckled, holding out his hand to you.

For a split second, you were scared that your palms started to sweat out of nervousness but not wanting to delay the date any further, you placed your hand on top of his. He threaded his fingers with yours and squeezed your hand, nudging you towards him.

“Let’s go.”

You’ve walked beside Jaehyun multiple times already but this time you’re walking hand in hand with him — and he’s even swaying your conjoined hands! You were screaming inside at how cute he was to do this. He gave off such a cool vibe that you didn’t think he had such an adorable side.

Autumn has started and the weather was perfect to be outside, the leaves were turning to beautiful shades of reds, oranges, and yellows. It was nice to take a stroll under them right now and it feels quite cozy, especially with Jaehyun.

He filled up the silence growing between you, not that it bothered you, with small talk. He asked about your morning and the day before, if you had any plans for the holiday break. You told him that you were going back home to your parents over the holidays and was unsure if your parents had plans to celebrate.

You could feel his thumb gently smooth over your skin as he talked about his plans over the break, mentioning how he’s going to be helping out his dad in his business.

The cafe you both arrived at was smack dab in between a bookstore and a mom-and-pop store. There were little to no patrons in the cafe from the looks of it and it still had some streamers and balloons from their opening.

“Good morning! Welcome to Cafe Hue.” One of the three workers on duty, the cashier, greeted as you entered.

You offered a smile and glanced briefly at the interior — a habit you picked up in middle school that pushed you into taking interior design. For its namesake, the overall interior was a crisp white with loud, brightly colored decors dotting the shelves. There was room for improvement with the choice of furniture, but it still works.

“What would you like?” Jaehyun asked, pulling you out of your reverie by softly squeezing your hand.

You looked up at the chalkboard menu, giving each item a thought until you settled on a hot cup of French vanilla tea. Jaehyun relayed your order to the cashier, who’s eyes seemed very eager to meet his gaze, and added his own order of an iced americano.

“Do you want anything to eat? We can share something if you’d like.”

“I don’t mind a slice of cake or muffin.”

Jaehyun bobbed his head, “Anything in particular?”

“What would you recommend?” You directed the question to the cashier giving heart eyes up at Jaehyun. She shifted her attention to you, a full second of annoyance flashing in her face before plastering a model customer service smile.

“Everything is freshly baked, our baker’s favorite is the basque cheesecake, but personally, I love the chocolate carrot cake.”

“Both sound good, so I’ll leave the choice up to you.”

The cashier’s smile brightened as she returned her attention to Jaehyun, who seemed oblivious to it.

“Then a slice of each.” He didn't wait for her to tally the order and pulled out his wallet, brandishing a black card from within and placing it on the counter. She seemed astonished to see the card in front of her, but it only took a second for her to punch your orders in while repeating it out loud to confirm. Jaehyun nodded and she swiped the card.

“Have you always been a tea person? I could have gotten you tea instead of coffee all this time at the library.” He inquired, pursing his lips ever so slightly at you.

“Not necessarily.” You shrugged your shoulders, “My mind has strongly associated coffee with productivity and since we’re not here to study, I’d rather have tea. I like both, equally.”

Jaehyun finished paying for the order and guided you to a seat by the window. He helped you into your seat briefly before seating himself.

There was a palpable pause when he looked at you and it almost became awkward until he coughed and glanced away, ears visibly red.

“I’m sorry,” He cleared his throat, “I’ve never really… taken anyone out on a date before.”

The admission made your brows shoot up a little, “What? You’ve never dated anyone?”

He shook his head, “No. Wasn’t really interested… until I met you.”

The confession made your heart skip a beat and the faintest heat rose up your cheeks. “Oh. Uhm,” You stuttered, “I… I didn’t expect that from you.”

He sighed, “I get that a lot — not to be vain or anything. I was just never interested in the dating scene.”

“Haven’t girls asked you out? None of them caught your eye?”

Jaehyun shook his head again. “They all seemed… pretentious? No, too eager? Like I’m prey or something.”

You’re still having a hard time believing that this gorgeous man has not dated at all — let alone having you as the first person he’s ever expressed interest in. “What makes me different?”

Slowly, a small smile formed on his lips, “That’s what I’d like to know.”

You woke up startled, as if your body reminded you that you were in no position to be sleeping in. Honestly, you don’t even know how you fell asleep. You remembered looking around the room in hopes to find a way out, but everything was sealed shut with bolts or protected with grills. You discovered that despite being kidnapped, you were still provided other basic necessities. The other door led to a small ensuite bathroom; just one solid square where there were no partitions or dividers between the shower and the toilet. There was even a drawer full of clothes in your size (that you found mildly disturbing).

It almost felt like Yuta wanted you to feel like you were just away from home instead of being used as bait in a trap.

“Jaehyun.” You mumbled, covering your mouth with your palm. Yuta was right. Regardless of your current relationship status, Jaehyun would do anything in his power to find you and you don’t even want to think about what he could possibly do to Yuta when he gets his hands on him.

All you could do was hope Jaehyun won’t be careless in this situation.

You looked around the room as if you would find something new, but it was more bare than a real estate showroom. Yuta seemed to have cleared the food he had brought in for you last night while you slept, and thinking about it now, you were growing hungry.

There was a small knock at the door and you expected Yuta to come in, but you were pleasantly — also slightly confused — to see someone else come in.

“Oh,” The woman meekly said, “Good morning, Ms. [Y/N]. I’ve brought you breakfast.”

You stared at her; she looked so familiar. You watched as she pushed the door open with her shoulder while her hands were occupied with carrying a tray of food and water.

When she placed it on the table, you gasped.

“Mina!”

She smiled, “I’m flattered to know you remember me, Ms. [Y/N].”

“You’ve been missing for weeks. A-are you working for him?”

The smile disappeared from her face as she vehemently denied your accusation, shaking her head. “Please don’t misunderstand this, Ms. [Y/N]! I… I’m forced to do this. If not…” Mina paused, “I’m sorry, I was only tasked to bring your breakfast. I’ll collect the plates later when I bring up your lunch. I’m sorry again, Miss. Please, enjoy your food.”

“Wait—” You clambered off the bed, but Mina was out the door with a soft click behind her.

This just left you with more questions to haunt you. Why was she here? Why was she cooperating with Yuta? Is she a victim as well?

Despite doubting the food’s integrity, you were starving and even though you were served a simple bowl of congee and orange juice, it looked like the most delicious meal you’ve seen in your life. You helped yourself to the food, savoring the flavor exploding in your mouth.

Halfway through your meal, you remembered the dream you had last night.

Your first date with Jaehyun happened almost exactly 8 years ago. Times were simpler back then; everything was just about getting deadlines done at school, going on lunch dates, and clubbing every weekend night.

You started to lose your appetite and felt like throwing up.

How did you end up here?

Burying your face into your palms, you breathed in deeply to stop yourself from crying. You didn’t want to blame Jaehyun, but it’s the truth. You can’t help but think where you would be today if you had walked away from him the first time. You could have still been roommates with Minkyung and Yebin, somewhere in the city. Maybe you could have met someone new at work or the girls could have set you up with someone. Although, you have to admit that the idea pinched at your heart.

You still loved Jaehyun despite everything. Rather than hoping to move on as quickly as you can, you wished he had done things the right way with yo—

Lurching forward, you clamped your mouth shut as you suddenly stood up, the chair falling back with a loud thud. The taste of acid and the congee you had just consumed filled your mouth and you bolted into the bathroom, kneeling at the toilet to expel the vomit.

You barfed into the bowl until you felt like you couldn’t possibly heave anything else from your stomach. Sweat started to build up on your forehead as you calmed yourself down. You spat the remaining sour taste from your mouth and hoisted yourself up, flushing the toilet while you wondered if you caught a virus again.

Then it hit you.

You were supposed to meet Dr. Ahn. Unconsciously, your hand went over your abdomen. Surely, you weren’t…

You brushed the idea away. You’ve been on IUD for years and it’s been extremely effective; why now? These were just your nerves getting to you.

“Please eat something.” Jaehyun’s mom gestured to the maid she entered his room with to replace the food they brought last night. It was barely touched and the rice had gone stale.

“I don’t have an appetite.” He mumbled through his palm, focused on the latest report from the Commissioner General. They were just more reports on how other missing women were possibly linked to him and he honestly didn’t care about it. He just wanted to know why this is happening — what did he ever do to him.

“Sweetheart, even a few slices of fruit?”

Jaehyun looked up at his mom, contemplating telling her what he’s discovered on his own but decided against it. “Sure, I’ll have an apple.”

She perked up, “Alright, I’ll go prepare it myself.”

When his mom and the maid finally left him alone, he pulled out his phone and dialed one of his recent contacts.

“I found out something crucial.” He skipped formalities and greetings. “I don’t want to discuss this over the phone. Can you gather Doyoung and Minkyung for me? And do you think she can host us?”

“Okay, hello, I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Yebin sarcastically responded. “You know any other day, I would have dropped the call.”

“You wouldn’t have picked up.”

Yebin cooed, “Aw, I’m a little touched that you know me so well.”

“Yebin.” Jaehyun impatiently said. He didn’t have the time to have these types of banter with her right now.

“Fine. I’ll contact them.”

“As discreetly as possible, please.” Jaehyun paused, “Wait, don’t ask Minkyung to host us. I’ll get back to you on that.”

Without any further questioning, they ended the call with no goodbyes and Jaehyun flinched as the door opened.

“Here you go!” His mother sashayed into his room, handing him a small plate of peeled, sliced apples. “And if you decide to have anything more, let me know, okay, sweetheart?”

He smiled up at her, “Yes, mom. Although, I might have dinner with Johnny some time soon.”

“Oh,” She said, “Why not just invite him over? Wouldn’t it be safer?”

“I don’t really like bringing home work. We’ll be fine. I’ll bring extra bodyguards if it would put your mind at ease.”

“It would, thank you. Please be careful and give my regards to Johnny. He’s always welcome to drop by here whenever he feels like it.”

Jaehyun snorted, his mother always treated Johnny like a second son and of course, he had no qualms about it. “I’ll let him know.”

Once his mother left, he picked up an apple slice and dialed a different number on his phone. He listened to the phone ring while munching on the fruit until the other person picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hello. I understand this is a bit last minute, but could we possibly meet up in your place? Out of everyone that we’re friends with, your place seems to be the safest. I’ll explain more when we get there.”

“Of course. I’m off early today so I can accommodate you guys. I’ll send my address in a bit.”

“Thank you.” He paused, “Please be careful and wary of your surroundings. As a safety precaution.”

“I will. See you later.”

“Who arranges a meeting and is late for it?” Yebin griped, flicking popcorn with the tips of her long nails to choose the one with the most butter on it. 

Johnny, picking out all the pieces she had discarded on the side and tossing it into his mouth, glanced at her, “It is rush hour. Maybe he got into traffic.”

“Maybe he’s in trouble.” Yebin snapped back, shrugging her shoulders. “He could be bleeding out from a gunshot wound right now.”

“Yebin!” Minkyung gasped, swatting her shoulder briefly before clasping her hands together in prayer. “Surely, he’s caught in traffic.”

Although at the last minute, they were able to gather at Kun’s apartment at the designated time. Kun was originally worried if he could host this many people in his small apartment but he’s never been thankful for signing the lease for the one bedroom apartment over the studio type.

He’s even more thankful he believed the feng shui expert who told him to prioritize having a bigger dining area than lounge space so almost everyone tonight could be seated. He is, however, a bit embarrassed he only had movie snacks in his pantry instead to offer as they waited for Jaehyun, hence Yebin and Johnny sharing a bowl of freshly popped popcorn. Luckily, Minkyung had brought some rice cakes and chicken with her — saying it’s her cheat day and wanted to share her cravings with them.

Doyoung had finished swallowing a rice cake that was way too chewy for his liking before making a comment about Kun’s apartment. “As a doctor, I’d expected you to have a healthier food selection.”

“I don’t have guests over often and I haven’t had time to go get groceries.”  He sheepishly admitted, placing the bottle of makgeolli he had received from a former patient. “I live off hospital cafeteria food most days.”

“What a mood.” Minkyung quipped, “I respect it. I used to take home leftovers from the food spreads at photoshoots to save money.”

“You always brought home the good stuff when you had small gigs back in college.” Yebin mused, flicking another butter-less popcorn over to Johnny’s side. “[Y/N] and I would always fight for the bougiest one.”

“Speaking of [Y/N],” Minkyung snapped her fingers and pursed her lips, “I haven’t heard from her in awhile. She hasn’t responded to my messages.”

“I was gonna ask the same thing.” Doyoung said before picking up another rice cake from the plate. He glanced at Kun, “I was surprised that you called me over instead of her.”

“Oh! Are we planning a surprise for her or something?”

Johnny and Kun looked at each other, then turned their attention to Yebin, who shut her eyes in annoyance when they did so.

Minkyung gasped, “Did you see that?” She asked Doyoung, “They shared a look!”

“I did.” He narrowed his eyes, aiming them at Kun. “Is there something we don’t know? Is something wrong with [Y/N]?”

“We should really wait for Jaehyun—” Kun cleared his throat, glancing back and forth from Johnny and Yebin for support.

“If something’s wrong and you guys know about it, then what’s the point of waiting for Jaehyun to tell us? We’re all equally her friends here.” Doyoung’s tone made Kun wince.

“We know that!” Yebin butted in, throwing her hands up in frustration. “But we barely know anything as well! Only Jaehyun does and this motherfucker is late—”

On cue, there was a knock on the door and Kun promptly walked over to open the door after checking who was outside through the peephole.

“About time!” Yebin hissed, crossing her arms and glaring up at him.

“I’m sorry. There was a meeting held on the case that I was allowed to listen in to.” Jaehyun said, coolly, no trace of joy or bashfulness his voice usually had when he was with them.

“Is it about [Y/N]? What happened to her?” Minkyung sat up on her seat, brows furrowed in worry.

Kun offered the last seat at the table to Jaehyun, who nodded but remained standing.

“[Y/N] has been missing for over a week now. She’s probably been kidnapped.”

“By who?” Minkyung gasped, “Her college stalker?”

Johnny scoffed, “That dude’s still after her?”

Jaehyun caught Doyoung’s gaze flickering over to him, eyes twitching briefly before he closed them and rubbed his fingers over them to pinch the bridge of his nose. He’s always been the protective brother figure in your life and being one of the last ones to find out about your current situation must be making him feel like shit.

“We don’t know yet. However,” He coughed, clearing his throat. “We have reason to believe that [Y/N]’s case is related to the string of missing women around Seoul.”

“So…” Johnny drew out, “It’s not a targeted type of situation? It’s not the creep from college?”

Jaehyun inhaled deeply and sighed, finally taking the seat that was offered to him. “From the findings of the police — the meeting I had joined earlier — it seems that the suspect does have a target… and it’s me.”

“What?” Yebin spat, “How are the other missing women related to you?”

He cupped his face, massaging in awkward circles to avoid their gazes. “As the police have uncovered, all the missing women have either worked for me, interacted with me, or… participated in an online thread about me back in high school.”

He said the last bit hurriedly, almost embarrassed about that fact.

Yebin’s face was painted with pure disgust, “You’re telling me that women are missing — most are reported to be presumably dead — because they were your fangirls back in high school? And our precious little [Y/N] has been kidnapped… because she’s your fiancée?”

Even Yebin bit her tongue when she said the last word, looking a bit apologetic when Jaehyun hung his head low. She knew calling you his fiancee dug the knife deeper into him than she had meant to. With the lack of reaction from the room, she could tell that only she knew the state of your current relationship.

“I don’t…” Jaehyun mumbled, “I don’t even know what I did to deserve this.”

“You weren’t in the best crowd in high school, but you were an angel compared to them.” Johnny spoke up, being the only one who came from Kyeonggi’s despite only attending for a year. “Who could possibly go through these lengths to get back at you?”

Jaehyun pulled his hands away from his face, expression grim and jaw tight. “I already know who it is. I don’t have enough concrete evidence, but I just know it’s him. He’s got the money to do what he wants, he’s smart,  manipulative and he’s cunning and deceiving behind that fucking smile of his—”

“Smile?” Yebin cut him off, “Ooh, I knew that Japanese man was trouble! I’m canceling that fucking deal—”

“Don’t.” Jaehyun stopped her from taking her phone, “Unless you have a good reason as to why you’re breaking off a seemingly good contract with his company. Or any of you who had signed with him, for that matter.”

“Wait, wait,” Minkyung waved her hands in front of her to catch their attention, her perfectly shaped brows perpetually burrowed between her forehead, “Japanese man? Do you mean that Nakamoto guy? He’s your suspect?”

“I’ve always been suspicious of him. Everything started when he came into the picture: the number of missing women increasing… the stalking… this monopoly of their tech company in the country — especially in the security industry — that he’s offered to people around me and [Y/N]... He’s smart, yes, but like the snake he is, he’s leaving behind his skin.”

“Why aren’t you telling this to the police?” Doyoung inquired, taking everything Jaehyun had said. “You just said that the police are already investigating the case.”

“And they are. The commissioner general himself is heading the case.” He nodded, “But as I said, there’s no concrete evidence for me to pin this on Yuta.”

“Wait,” Kun interjected, “Nakamoto… Yuta? I think… he accompanied a patient of mine a while back.”

“Aren’t you a gynecologist?” Yebin scowled, “That man is not allowed to procreate— wait, he knocked someone up? Could it be one of the missing women?”

The thought of Yuta possibly touching you, consensually or not, hadn’t crossed his mind (or maybe he just didn’t want it to) and it made him seethe, balling his fists tightly until his nails dug into his palms.

“I’m not one to break doctor-patient confidentiality but if I remember correctly, he presented himself as a potential father despite what my patient was claiming.”

“What an asshole.” Yebin remarked, lips still downturned.

Kun continued, “He also seemed withdrawn from the whole ordeal — physically present, mentally absent.”

“Do you remember when this was?”

The doctor licked his lips, thinking hard about it. “Probably a few months ago? Barely a year. She was one of my first patients. She had come into the clinic with her arms around his arm, practically dragging him in. I can search for her name tomorrow at the clinic if we want to track her down.”

Minkyung gasped, “Oh my gosh, Kyungwon! We should check up on her. What if she’s been missing too?”

“Didn’t she say she broke it off with him? I guess it wouldn’t hurt to check up on her, she’s one of [Y/N]’s closest colleagues.” Yebin picked up her phone from the table and scrolled through her contacts, “Good thing I got her number last time so I could set her up with a cousin.”

“If there’s a way you can do it inconspicuously, then please do.” Jaehyun implored, “For now, I just need everyone to be on high alert. Act like you don’t know anything if you come across him.”

He sighed, cradling his jaw with his hand after propping his elbow against the table.

“Hey,” Johnny called from across the table, “[Y/N]’s a feisty girl. She’s not going down without a fight. I’m sure she’s okay.”

“I know she is. I’m just trying to figure out this fucking psychopath’s motive and plan.” He mumbled, “I’ve been wracking my brain out how it ended up this way. Did I step over his pride? Did I come off the wrong way on him when he was having a shitty day? I just don’t understand.”

“We can mull about it when we find out more things about him. My family has close connections to a prominent family in Japan, I can have someone get intel on Nakamoto from his home country.” Yebin offered, standing up from her seat. “This sicko is going to pay hell for even touching a single hair on [Y/N]’s head. I’d love to stay and plan out the ways we’re going to torture the fuck out of this guy when we catch him, but I have to handle an ingress of a museum exhibit down in Busan over the weekend. Keep me posted, yeah?”

“Of course,” Jaehyun started to rise from his seat but Yebin waved him off, “Yebin, thank you.”

“Don’t be gross, Jung. I’m doing this for her.”

“I’ll be heading out as well with Yebs. I have a photoshoot tomorrow at Daegu. I haven’t interacted with Yuta at all, and I’m hoping I don’t have to, but I’ll be vigilant.”

They saw the girls off and Kun offered the boys the case of beer he had in the back of his freezer.

“He seemed like such a cool dude. It’s rare to see guys who know the shit they work on, you know?” Johnny was the first one to break the silence between the four men quietly breaking open their respective beer cans and sipping the foam. “But I’m somehow not surprised about it either.”

“I barely interacted with him at the housewarming.” Doyoung confessed, “Even when our security system was replaced with his tech, I didn’t handle it personally.”

Jaehyun somberly acknowledged them, gently pushing the soft aluminum of the beer can that made a soft popping sound every time he let go. With their friends knowing the situation, he felt a little relieved to know he’s not alone in trying to save you.

If he could save you.

“Hey,” Kun nudged his arm and as if he had just heard his thought, said, “Don’t take it too hard on yourself. He’s playing a game that only he wants to play.”

“A game?” Jaehyun repeated.

“Well, that’s how I see it. The way I see it from what I know — which isn’t much — it seems like he’s learning about you to bait you out. Why take the time to find all these people from your past? People you don’t even know? If he’s got all this money and power to do virtually anything he wants, why waste it on them when he could’ve gone straight to people you actually care for?”

Kun shrugged, “Think of it like chess. He’s taken the rooks and the pawns — and even your queen. And the only advice I can offer now is for you to be careful and walk right into his trap.”

Just as the hour hand passed midnight, the boys called it a night. Kun saw them off at the entrance of his apartment building. Johnny had parked all the way down the street while Jaehyun was lucky to have gotten a spot nearby, offering Doyoung a ride after finding out he had commuted.

“I’m sorry, by the way.” Jaehyun said just as they buckled themselves into his car. Before Doyoung could respond, he continued, “You should be one of the first people I should tell about anything related to [Y/N]. I guess a part of me had always seen you as her older brother and I was ashamed to admit I couldn’t protect her.”

He nodded his head in acknowledgement, lips pursed in contemplation.

“You…” His voice trailed off, “You were her college stalker, right?”

Jaehyun’s fingers gripped the steering wheel, “I was.”

“Are you surprised that I know?”

“I had a feeling when it was brought up a while ago. Although as I said, you’re practically her brother. You two know everything about each other.”

“Apparently not everything.” Doyoung bitterly grumbled, slapping his forehead afterwards. “I’ve been so caught up in my own shit that I haven’t checked up on her at all even when she mentioned she had to go home to her parents because she was sick.”

Silence came over them inside the car that seemed louder than the late night city life they were passing by.

“How did you react when she told you about what I did?”

“I told her she was crazy for coming back to you. I’ve urged her multiple times to break it off again.”

Jaehyun is oddly calm. He knew he would have been thinking about all the ways to make Doyoung eat his words, but now he’s just accepting all of it. Maybe because it was over between the two of you.

“But she fought for you.” Doyoung brought him out of his reverie. “Like her life depended on it. It made her look like an idiot, for sure, but she defended you. She gave you a second chance and begged me to do the same. So I did.”

“That means a lot to me. Thank you.” Jaehyun responded once he pulled over in front of Doyoung’s building. “But… I have to apologize again. Before she disappeared, she broke up with me.”

He looked at him like he had grown a second head. “I don’t believe you. I literally just told you she fought to be with you.”

“People… change their minds.” Jaehyun turned the engine off, but didn’t unlock the car. “And I’m starting to think it’s better that way. I never considered this situation before… someone is using her against me, but then again, I’m not entirely a good person for her.”

“But you’re good to her and that was enough for her.”

Jaehyun chuckled morosely, thinking, “If only you really knew everything, man.”

“So what? After we save her, you’re just… going to let her go?”

The response weighed heavy on Jaehyun’s tongue, refusing to be spoken and heard by someone else other than his thoughts. Every fiber of his being didn’t want to let you go, he wanted to fight for your relationship — but he knew he didn’t have the right to.

“Yeah,” He eventually said, “That’s the plan.”

You woke up to a muffled noise and a soft, rhythmic thumping on the adjacent wall of your bed. You groaned, a bit annoyed that your slumber was interrupted, but shook the grogginess away to figure out what was making the noise.

Sitting up, you didn’t bother to rub at the dryness of your eyes and pressed your ear onto the wall, only to gasp and pull away with cheeks flaring up.

Was that… a moan?

You put a hand to your mouth, pressing yourself back up on the wall to hear.

That’s definitely a woman moaning in pleasure and despite not being able to make out the words, the male voice accompanying the woman’s moans was Yuta. Shame overcame you once you realized overhearing their private moment had started to make you press your thighs closer.

You scooted away, jumped off your bed and sat at the table on the other side of the room. You could still hear the soft thumps, but at least you couldn’t hear the moans. Crossing your arms, you sat back on your seat and closed your eyes.

He’s doing this on purpose, you thought. For some twisted reason, you know he wants you to hear that.

Looking out the window, you tried to gauge what time it was. Around midnight, perhaps? What was Jaehyun doing? Is he even getting enough sleep? Is he eating properly? You slapped yourself.

“For someone who broke up with him, you’re pretty concerned about him.” You murmured, but bit your lip when it began to tremble. You should be mad at him. For all that he’s done. You’re in this situation because of him. But why does a part of you want him to leave it to the police? You hoped deep in your heart that he’s not going to come here himself like Yuta is anticipating because you don’t know what this psycho is planning — what his end goal is.

But why do you care? Why does it matter? You laid your head on the table and sobbed, “I still love him.”

“Please, please if there’s any higher being listening to me right now.” You prayed, voice shaky and strained, “Please don’t let him come here. Please.”

After some time, you jolted in your seat at the sound of the door knob rustling. Had you cried yourself to sleep?

The door opened and Yuta sauntered in wearing nothing but a pair of baggy sweats that hung low on his hips, smirking at the sight of your face that’s red and puffy from crying. “Aw, did you miss Jaehyun after hearing all that? Did you enjoy the show? I’ll let you watch next time~”

This man has an innate ability to fill you with rage within seconds.

Before you could think it through, you stood up and pushed his body with all your might, running at the door he hadn’t closed yet. You were able to swing it wider, but couldn’t get a foot out when you felt your hair being yanked back. You felt a few strands snap as you yelped in pain, trying to grab at Yuta’s fist around your head.

“That’s cute.” He laughed in your ear, kicking the door with his foot. He tossed you towards the bed like a rag doll, your body just hitting the edge of it before crumbling to the floor. “Don’t do that again. I’ll forgive you this time, but if you insist on taking a little stroll outside, I don’t mind trading a few minutes of freedom for some head.”

“Fuck you.” You spat, visibly shuddering at the offer.

He just laughed again, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t have to fuck myself. Your friend is a great fuck and leaves me happy every time.”

“What?” You massaged the part of your scalp that had been strained. When realization hit you, you gasped in horror, “Kyungwon?!”

You called out to her, scrambling onto your feet and running towards the wall. You pounded on the surface, “Kyung? Kyungwon, it’s me, [Y/N]!”

Yuta merely chuckled behind you, “Do you really think I would let her stay here overnight and discover you’re here?”

Somehow the thought of Kyungwon still being able to go home comforted you.

“That’s risky of you to bring her here in the first place.”

“It’s a gamble, but someone has to bring the prince to the damsel in distress, no?” Yuta dragged the chair you had sat on towards him and sat down.

“What do you plan on doing when Jaehyun gets here?” You heaved, keeping your emotions in check. “Do you honestly think he’s going to go here alone?”

He gave you a wicked smile, the type that made you shiver.

“I know he is.”

Yuta reached into the pocket of his pants, leading your gaze to the prominent tent between his legs that made you want to vomit. Does this type of scenario excite him? You averted your gaze to the television that turned on.

“As expected, Jaehyun had contacted your friends. Presumably to recruit them in saving you.”

A CCTV footage on what seems to be the front entrance of an apartment building appeared on screen. It didn’t look familiar to you, but then you see a familiar mop of head in the corner.

“Kun?”

“He graciously hosted everyone in his apartment. Smart move on Jaehyun since my company failed to convince the building owner’s to switch to my tech — but I doubt Jaehyun knows that. Good thing there’s a bunch of free streams of city’s CCTV on the net, huh? With a little nudge here, the camera is focused more on the apartment.”

Yuta tapped his phone and the video sped up. He only slowed it down to show you who was entering — first, it was Doyoung. Johnny followed, and Yebin and Minkyung came together.

“And last, but not the least,” Yuta sang, tapping his phone once more to show Jaehyun, even zooming into the video to get a better look at his face.

Your heart sank. He looked so sullen, it hasn’t been long, but he looked like he lost weight and aged a few years.

“Oh! I would have loved to hear what they were talking about.” He sighed, “Don’t you?”

“I don’t get what your end goal here is.” You hissed, balling your fists at your sides. “Kill Jaehyun?”

“Kill him? Heavens, no.” He laughed, “He can do that himself.”

Your nails almost pierced your palm at how much you balled your fists tighter upon hearing that.

“I want to break him — mentally and emotionally. I’ve already started to unravel him since I got the single thread that was keeping him together.” Yuta tipped his head at you, “I want to drive him insane until he loses himself — be that monster he really is.”

“He’s not a monster—”

“[Y/N], [Y/N],” He clicked his tongue in disappointment, “Should I give you another copy of his journal for you to read to pass time here? Did you forget already just because you saw him all mopey and sad just now? [Y/N], that man invaded your privacy from when you were younger! He had personally sent people to the hospital because of anger issues AND did not feel an ounce of remorse for doing so. Does that not bother you at all?”

You refused to comment, opting to control your breathing to stop yourself from hyperventilating at the reminder of the things you’ve read in the files.

“Aw, [Y/N], it’s okay. We all make mistakes. Yours was giving him that second chance.”

“No.” Your voice cracked.

Yuta’s brow rose up at your response.

“Giving him that second chance wasn’t a mistake. I don’t regret it.”

“I hope you don’t eat your words, [Y/N].” He sighed, “You haven’t read everything yet.”

“It doesn’t matter.” You snapped, defiant and curt. “I hope he kills you.”

Yuta chuckled, nonchalantly with a nod as he slowly stepped towards the door.

Your brows burrowed ever so slightly, what did he mean by that? Did he really just want Jaehyun to kill him? For what reason?

“By the way,” He said as he opened the door, the tone of his voice dropped lower and you’re mortified at how it sends pure fear shooting through you. “Try to escape again and there will be consequences. Don’t ruin the fun, [Y/N].”

And just like that, he left you once again in the room. The loud click of the lock signaled that you’re once again alone with your thoughts, drowning endlessly in questions that suffocated you to sleep every night since you’ve been here.

A/N: and it's finally here!! if anybody is still notif gang, thank you for being so patient 🥹 i hope it wasn't too fast paced, but i literally just wrote out what i typed out in the outline thats been rotting in my notes.

i hope it's not too much to ask, but please share my uncle's getfunding link for his chemo therapy 🙏

support me by reblogging with the same tags! i would also really appreciate leaving your thoughts in my inbox as it would help me become a better writer and prepare me to write my own book 👀

for extra support, you can check here on ways to send me a tip ~

[pinkmelodie]

First Miguel fic + 250+ follower special ୨୧

I’d like to start off by saying THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 300 FOLLOWERS !! And 2000+ notes?!? omg. I checked my inbox a few times and saw 99+ notifs every time, and when I tell you I SCREAMED. As a new writer I can’t thank you enough for all the notes and sweet comments ! I’m so grateful, so take this fic as a thank you <33

Warnings: Miguel is hinted to have slept with socks on which….is a trigger on its own apparently 😥, potentially botched ass Spanish……(no Google translate was used tho, my French teacher taught me better than that), p in v, making out, grinding, slight blood, reader has no chill nor filter but Miguels lowkey into it, degradation, bondage, banter, oral, praise, etc.

a/n: Takes place before the whole Miles incident !! I love Miguel but I can’t forgive him for doing that to my son 🤨🤨 This could also be imagined as König, since they’re both huge stubborn men <33

Pairing: Female reader x Miguel O’Hara 

Summary: Miguel is pent up and needs a release. Lucky for him, there’s a certain spider woman who’d do anything for him <3

Words: 4141 (DAMN I shocked myself w this)

. . .

Miguel runs his hand through his hair, grumbling when he feels it’s getting to a length that needs cutting again. Just another thing to add to his pile of responsibilities.

He pushes the fumbled blanket off to the side and lazily palms at his morning wood, finding the ministrations do little to help his raging hard-on. He’s shocked, mainly that he could still get one with how tense he’s been lately, but mostly that he’s actually annoyed that he has to jerk off. It feels like a chore to him now…though taking care of himself in any sense has since he became Spider-Man.

With a sleepy groan he drags himself up and to the bathroom. His mismatched socks are soft against the cool bathroom tiles where he turns on the shower. His muscles stretch when he tugs his white sweater over his head and tosses it onto the ground nearby, abs tensing and shoulders refusing to relax no matter how much stretching he did.

When the rest of his clothing join the heap on the floor he steps into the freezing cold shower, twitching at the icy droplets that felt like tiny icicles poking into his taut skin. 

He hoped the temperature would make the nuisance go down, but it raged on, standing proud at its full height. Miguel never thought he’d find himself glaring at his own dick, but here he was, horny and heavily pissed off. 

He reached down and tugged at his cock, rubbing his thumb over the angry red tip. He jerked profusely, yet all it did was leave him feeling unsatisfied and humiliated. 

“Fuck.” He cursed, washing his hand off before aggressively turning the knob to stop the flowing water. He tried to remember what he had to do today while pacing the bathroom, but he couldn’t focus with his erection clouding  his thoughts. Maybe if the blood would stay in his head…

He was an attractive guy, he knew that much. It would be easy to go out into the town and hook up with some stranger, but not so much so when he was in this constant sour mood. That sullen energy & resting bitch face paired with his looming height would scare any woman away.

Any sane woman.

You tied up the last of the criminals in your silky webs, smiling in victory. Unfortunately, the joy wasn’t long-lasting since as soon as you got home you felt boredom creeping up on you once again.

For weeks you’d been entertained by the intimidating founder of the spider society; Miguel O’Hara.You’d been bugging him for days on end, literally drooling at his feet and begging him to come back to your place.

He kicked you out multiple times, but like a cockroach you couldn’t be squashed—and neither could your need for him. You just couldn’t take a hint apparently. When he picked you up by the back of your suit and threw you back into your universe, all you focused on was how easily he carried you with just one of his big, veiny hands.

The way that suit hugged his defined chest so well, and his massive arms where you could see every vein…plus that prominent bulge? You were sunk.

He’d finally run out of patience for you when you ‘accidentally’ messed with the tech for his suit, almost making him go full commando in front of everyone in the spider society.(wouldn’t be the last time that happened…) He banned you for good, taking away your ‘multiversal gizmo’ without a second thought.

Your last words being ‘worth it!’ as you were flung back into your universe by the go-home-machine seemed like the icing on the cake to him despising you forever, but apparently that wasn’t the case because the man himself just appeared in your living room.

“Y/N.” He addressed nonchalantly.

You stared at him, jaw agape for a few moments before pinching yourself to see if you were dreaming. You had to be, he basically filed a restraining order against you. A really complicated, multiversal restraining order. Why  would he ever voluntarily come to you?

You couldn’t even respond since your throat felt so dry .. . It seemed your body had other ideas of where to soak.

“Why are you so obbsesed with me?” He suddenly asked, paying no mind to your awkward silence. 

“uhm-“

“I mean, you chased me around every day, eyed me down so intensively it was basically public sex and yet here you are, alone with me like you wanted, and now you’re speechless?” He stalked around your living room, circling you like a bird of prey.

You blushed up a storm and stood frozen in front of him, trying to discretely rub your thighs together.

He eyed you down, noticing your obvious ministrations but only chuckling. “Sometimes I had wished you were an actual spider so I could crush you under the soles of my shoes, but lately I’ve found myself feeling as horny and desperate as you.” He admitted with a smirk that revealed his sharpened fangs. 

That confession had your mind reeling to the point all you could muster up was; “I would’ve let you step on me regardless.”

His smirk grew and he started to approach you until his shadow covered you completely. You had to tilt your whole head up to look him in his glowing red eyes now—but you couldn’t handle making the eye contact anyway.

“You are just a small little thing, yet I didn’t expect you to be all bark no bite. All those filthy things you said lingered in my mind..don’t you want to take care of what you started?” He asked in a deliciously low voice. The almost mocking manner he said it in made you feel called out, and you looked down at your hands and picked at your nails to try and calm yourself.

A clawed finger tilted your head up by the chin and forced you to look into his eyes. How could you forget—in all your time spent basically stalking him you noticed how he never broke eye contact with anyone that he was speaking to. It was both exhilarating and intimidating to see, and you felt that full force while finally being on the receiving end of it. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you, arañita.” He ordered, and it sent tingles shooting up your spine.

You swore you heard your neck crack from how fast you looked up at him. He looked predatory staring down at you like that, eyes gleaming in the sunlight. “So? Will you finish what you started muñeca?” He asked, as if it was even a question to you.

“Fuck yes.” You agreed without missing a beat, making him chuckle darkly. “Needy thing.”

Before your mind could catch up you were suddenly being lifted by him and thrown on his shoulder with ease. He walked through the halls of your cozy apartment and waltzed into your bedroom without even searching for it, carelessly throwing you onto the bed.

You landed with a bounce on the soft comforter, feeling even smaller now with him standing above you. “Wha- how do you know where my bedroom is?” You asked when your brain finally decided to have a rational thought. 

“I’ve done my research—wanted to make sure you weren’t a spy. It was a waste of time, really, you’re just a horny stalker.” He shrugged.

You stared at him with an offended expression (tho it was 100% true) and went to argue until your lips were suddenly sealed by sticky red webs.

 “On your back.” He ordered. 

You crossed your arms at him first until he repeated the command in a low, dangerous voice. “Now.” Any defiance you had pretended to have quickly left your body and you laid down flat on the silk sheets.

He stalked over to you, all big and menacing as always. He leaned over you and forced your wrists together, twirling more glowing silk around them until they were bound above your head. 

He smirked down at you, leaning in to pepper kisses all over your neck. He sucked dark hickeys onto the sensitive skin of your throat, enjoying your muffled moans. While before he found your voice excruciating—he was now desperate to hear it crying out his name.

He stripped the webs off your mouth and you whined at the pain. The feeling resembled a bandaid being ripped off a fresh cut. He cooed pitifully above you and leaned in, whispering “Pobre araña, why don’t I kiss it better?” 

You nodded desperately until his lips met yours with a slight sting. He growled into your mouth, swirling his tongue around yours and exploring your mouth until you were squirming. He nibbled on your bottom lip, sharp canines threatening to break the skin. He pushed his muscled thigh between your legs and pressed down on your clit with his knee, the pressure making you moan under him. Your sweet sounds drove him wild, and he couldn’t help but bite down lightly on your lip until tiny droplets of blood dripped onto his tongue.

He groaned at the taste, his animalistic split-DNA going wild. When he pulled back—lips reddened, hair tussled and fallen slightly in front of his face— you couldn’t help but stare. His face looked so much more chiseled up close, cheekbones perfectly defined and a jawline sharper than the claws currently resting on your hips. 

His toned chest rose up and down steadily while he regained his breath, the familiar spider symbol on his suit growing bigger then smaller with each rise of his lungs like it was breathing. 

“Let’s take care of these, Cariño.” He addressed your clothing as if it were nothing but a nuisance for him before slicing your shirt right off you. He did this with ease, big claws moving onto your bottoms and clawing those off as well.

“Hey! Those were nice.” You pouted, though apparently he didn’t appreciate that comment because you were now being tied up even worse than before. Webs spewed from his wrist and circled your body like serpents, tying around your waist, arms, and thighs. “Don’t be a brat.” He ordered, webs tightening in warning. Once satisfied, he admired the way they looked pulled taut against your soft skin. “Red looks lovely on you, amor.” He praised, a quick switch from his previous comment.

He lifted you and reached behind your back, unclasping your bra with one hand. He threw it onto the ground somewhere with your torn up clothes, focusing his attention on your soft tits.

He hummed in content, playing with your nipples and letting his webs circle around the soft flesh of your breasts. He licked and sucked at one while tugging on the other, making you moan and squirm under him.

“Fuck Miguel- ah! more!” You whined desperately, coaxing a chuckle out of the behemoth. 

“Such a desperate slut.” He tutted, sucking marks all over your chest to match your throat. He kissed over the already forming hickeys, grazing his teeth dangerously close to your jugular. This man was massive, and made of pure muscle like a Greek god. He could easily hold you down without the help of his webs, but he wanted to focus full attention on you. 

He finally moved down to where you needed him most, going to rip your panties straight off you before you rudely slammed your thighs shut. “You take off your suit first….” You whined, embarrassed at being nearly completely nude before him while he was still covered. He was genuinely offended by this, feeling like he’d just had a door slammed on his face, yet he grumbled and messed around with his watch until the hologram started to dissipate.

Your jaw dropped wider and wider the more you took him in. The man resembled a skillfully carved statue belonging to Olympus itself. His biceps and abs were enough to challenge even Ares himself. Your eyes trailed lower and lower, leisurely mapping him out until your eyes locked on the weapon between his legs.

His dick stood loud and proud against his toned stomach, and it was massive. The man is 6,9, you knew he’d be big, but this thing was around 9 inches and looked like it could rip you in half. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from it even if you tried—I mean—the thing was basically introducing itself to you. We’re talking hello, how are you and goodbye.

Miguel basked in your ogling, his ego swelling more than it already had since he first noticed your obsession with him.

You finally snapped out of your trance when he bent down and slipped off your soaked panties, kissing up your leg as he did so. You spread both your legs for him and he took that as an invitation to lean in and lick a stripe up your wet cunt. You jumped, not expecting him to get into it so quickly, but you definitely didn’t complain.

He prodded a finger at your hole and pushed it in slowly, holding your hips down with his free hand. He made sure to be mindful of the claws adorning his fingertips since they wouldn’t go back down thanks to his clouded mind. The thick digit went in without much resistance thanks to how wet you were, until he pushed in a second and started scissoring them. 

You moaned and whimpered at the stretch, two of his thick fingers the size of nearly four of yours. He pumped them in and out quickly, the slick sounds your pretty hole made for him music to his ears. Your slick dripped down his ring and middle fingers that he was ruthlessly pumping inside you and dribbled down his veiny forearm.

He massaged your walls and pushed against them, scissoring his fingers to stretch you as much as possible. He couldn’t hit your g-spot thanks to his clawed fingertips, so he sucked at your clit to fill that extra stimulation until your head was rolling back. 

Something circled your waist and you figured it was his arm until you looked back down to see more webs. You would wriggle far too much without them, and he needed his other hand to spread your folds to drag a mix of his salvia and your slick around your twitching clit. You mewled at the overwhelming stimulation, bucking onto his face while he had a full on make out sesh with your pussy.

Only when he finally sunk four fingers into you and you were basically on the brink of tears with need did he pull away. Not without blowing on your sensitive clit, of course, just to see you twitch and squirm under the unrelenting grasp of his webs.

He stood up with a playful smile, freeing you from some of the webs just to pull you to the edge of the bed. Your ass met his pelvis with a slap when he yanked you by the ankle that quickly locked around his waist. He chuckled out something in Spanish that you didn’t understand, maybe along the lines of “Qué bonita putita…”. You didn’t bother to question it when he started to grind his rock hard dick on your drooling pussy, getting him all nice and wet to push into you. 

Only when he was coated completely in your essence did he listen to your pleas and finally line his fat tip up at your hole. Even with the all the stretching, your poor cunt had to stretch to accommodate the swollen red tip. His pre-cum mixed with your juices when it finally popped in after some resistance, and he groaned at the warm feeling.

“So fucking tight, your poor pussy can’t take it, hm? You were so confident when you were begging for it like a desperate whore.” He growled, degradation making you clench Impossibly tighter around his head until he had to bite back a groan.

“Please Mig, I can take it.” You begged, rutting your hips onto him and trying to coax him deeper until he swiftly grabbed your waist. His claws dug into your skin, threatening to break through. He pulled back and you immediately assumed he was going to tease you again for being desperate. 

Straight away you whined out apologies, stumbling over your words and pleas until he suddenly slammed back inside you, cramming 5 of his solid inches into your hole. You screamed, tears brimming on your waterline at the stretch. Your back arched off the bed and you squirmed away from the sting until he pulled back and rutted back in again, almost as if testing the waters.

With every drag of his hips his cock slowly got deeper into you until he was bottomed out completely. His tip kissed against your cervix and you looked down, amazed and horrified to see him crammed inside you so snugly. He gave you a moment to compose yourself—preoccupied on the bulge in your lower stomach. 

“My good girl, fitting around me so perfectly. That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” He teased, dick twitching at the fucked out moan you gave in response.

It definitely was hard, yet his dick was harder. You could feel every single vein and ridge pressing into you, rubbing against your gummy walls in a way that left you drooling. You suddenly understood why he’d prepped you for so long. It wasn’t just to tease you, this just was not an easy thing to take. 

“Move,” you pleaded, correcting youself when he raised an eyebrow, “please.”

He hummed, palming at the fat of your hips to see the way your skin sunk under his touch. “I don’t know Cariño…do you really deserve this dick?” 

You gave him your best “are you for real?” face. This man was not about to make you beg when he was the one to randomly show up in your home. You’d been begging on your knees for him for months, and now he chooses to acknowledge it?

You made it your personal mission to go against everything he’s ever ordered from you, and the grind never does stop, does it?

“Like you deserve to kiss my ass?” You jest without hesitation. 

You can see the way his whole face stretches; clearly dumbfounded at your response before he’s able to compose himself. With your cunt wrapped around him so tight and warm like that, it’s easy to forget the pretty spider underneath him is a little rascal.

“You were just whining a second ago, don’t try that,” He warned. “You’ve been begging for it for months, practically humping my leg in front of the entire Arachno-Humanoid-Poly-Universe.” 

You groaned at his insistence on calling it that, even while balls deep inside you. “I didn’t sign up to fuck a geek,” you mutter.

“With the way you approached me I’m sure you’d fuck just about anyone, puta.”

You wanted to be insulted, but your words caught in your throat when he leaned close to you to whisper right into your ear; “Quit acting like you had any dignity in the first place and beg.”

His warm breath on your nape left you shivering. Miguel wasn’t human—not completely. With DNA mixed with a spiders, he was a predator; one ready to devour you whole.

It wasn’t a surprise to anyone really when you gradually let quiet pleas spill from your mouth. Miguel had half the mind to make you speak up, but he was loosing his thin amount of patience as is. With a satisfied click of his tongue, he pulled back until his flushed head was right at your entrance “see, was that so hard?”

You knew better than to try and answer at this point when he rammed his cock back into you. Huge hands gripped your thighs and pushed your legs into your chest while he bullied his dick further and further into your cunt. 

Your pussy was embarrassingly loud for him, squelching with each brutal thrust of his hips. His muscled thighs were tense with the pure strength he put into slamming into you—beating your sensitive pussy in until it memorized his shape for life. 

“Mig- ah! Holyfuck!” You screamed, draping your arms over his shoulders and scratching at his back like a cat post.

“Go on princesa, mark me up.” He encouraged and got a better grip on your thighs, pushing your legs out to a full spread. He had you displayed like a dinner feast and bent you like a lawn chair with your lower half on his toned chest. He was actually impressed at your flexibility, yet like always he chose the worst way to phrase it.

“I’m shocked, I never expected you to do any real training.” 

“Fuck you.”

“That’s what you’ve been wanting, is it not?” He gloated with such a shit-eating expression that you just had to wipe off his face. He sunk deeper into you when you pulled him in for a kiss and it had you clenching around him.

His thrusts got more erratic until your mind was clouded with only the sounds of his dick disappearing into your cunt. His hands were dragging you back onto him by the hips at the same time, so you could feel him bumping against your cervix with each thrust.

You were too fucked out to say anything other than broken moans and mewls of his name, and he wasn’t too far off.

“So pretty Cariño,” he groaned, “all for me? mierda- yeah, all for me.”

A string of loud mewls along with shameless moans poured out of your bruised lips in response. He pounded your pussy with so much vigour that you edged forward on the ruffled mattress with each rough thrust.

He massaged your throbbing clit between his fingers, laughing at the way they kept slipping around from how much of your own arousal was dripping down your cunt. Heavy balls slapping against your soft skin filled your ears when you felt that coil in your stomach start to snap.

“Pussys gripping me like a fucking vice- you gonna cum for me?” he teased, “look baby- look at how well this sweet little pussys taking me.”

He took your hand and lead it down until it was tracing the prominent bump in your stomach - You could feel every brutal thrust and see the way he ravaged your insides. You pressed down on it, getting impossibly tighter around him and the broken moan he let out was what got you.

He quickly tore a mind-numbing orgasm out of you - thick cockhead still splitting you open while he worked your clit. You soaked his cock and squeezed against it, shaking and crying under him until you could barely take it anymore. 

He smiled in pride, sharp fangs showing and making him resemble the waiting mouth of a shark. “Such a good fucking girl, coming all over me like that. Look at the mess you’ve made,” he hummed, observing the noticeable white ring you left around the base of his cock. 

His thrusts stuttered before stilling completely inside you. He made a noise akin to an animal before spilling his hot cum inside your welcoming heat with a shudder and a broken moan.

“Mfhm- mierda.. .” He cursed, his warmth filling you up so much it started to spill out.

You felt like a rag doll under him, half-asleep and smiling dumbly up at him. He chuckled and admired one last time how pretty you looked in his glowing red webs, wrapped around you like his own custom lingerie. 

He sliced them off you and smiled warmly when you raised your arms out to him. He leaned in to let you wrap your arms around his massive shoulders with your legs now wrapping around his waist.

He picked you up with you curled into him like a koala - the warm sensation of his cum dripping down your connected bodies grounding you while he walked to your bathroom. 

He pressed soft kisses to your marked up-neck while he ran a warm bath, rubbing at the indents his claws subconsciously left on your hips. 

You didn’t remember exactly when you fell asleep; somewhere between when his large hands washed the cum off your skin or when he gently laid you down on your fresh bedsheets. 

All you knew was that you woke up to the smell of clean laundry and noticed snacks and a water bottle left on your nightstand. There was a note too that you had to reach over to grab. His handwriting was smudged but fancy, and it was so adorably him that it left you smiling ear to ear. 

“Had to leave early. Meet me in my office tomorrow and we’ll discuss how you’ll be living in my universe from now on ,seeing as how you’re now mine, mi vida.” 

. . .

[nerdyvocals]

9 People to Know Better (except I'm not tagging 9 people)

I don't normally do tag games, but I got tagged in this twice (by @jealous-kippen and @remmixx, my beloveds <3) so here I am! (also as I'm writing this out I am realizing that while both posts were titled the same way, it looks like they had different question prompts??? So I'm just gonna combine the two)

Favorite Color: Purple! Any shade will have my heart but I am partial to more red-toned purples. (PV, if that means anything to anyone who sees this other than me, you know who you are)

Currently Reading: Three things! In terms of actual books, I've been slowly making my way through the Riordanverse since my university did The Lightning Thief in my second year (first school in my state to do it once the rights were released!) since I somehow never got into Percy Jackson as a kid, and I'm currently on Son of Neptune. I'm also one like my third or fourth re-read of Eurydice by Sara Ruhl, since that's the play I'm designing the costumes for for my senior project. And in terms of fanfic, I woke up to a notification about this yesterday and Actually Screeched.

Last Song: Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan (ft. Post Malone), which was a bit of an accident. I use siri to request music while I'm driving and I asked for Dial Drunk and was singing along until I got jumpscared by the slight difference before Post Malone's verse. Although if you look at my spotify, the ROTPL album has been on repeat for weeks.

Currently Watching (Series): I've been hyperfixated on ROTPL and have watched it over a dozen times at this point, which is probably not healthy, so I put on NCIS last night for background noise while I ate dinner and accidentally watched like six episodes.

Currently Watching (Movie): Saw the Barbie movie the night before the actual opening with my coworkers (We don't cross picket lines people! I was not asked nor invited by any company, and I paid full price for my ticket. There's a one-screen theatre in the town where I'm doing summer stock, this relic from the 50's, and they were able to get access to the film a day early and did a special first come first serve premiere.) and we all sobbed the entire way through.

Current Obsession: Rise of the Pink Ladies. Full stop. I'd seen clips of it when it first aired in April but I was iffy on it in spite of how good it looked. Like most, I'm a little tired of reboots and remakes, and while I did clock Cynthia as being queer within two seconds, (I believe my exact words were "That's either a very butch lesbian or the eggiest egg to ever egg.") I was Convinced it was a queerbait situation. Plus I was nearing finals and didn't have time to get into a new show. But then Crushing Me was trending on tiktok and I realized this was not queerbait, so I put it on to have something playing while I packed for summer stock and it's been the only thing I can think about since mid May. It got me writing fanfic again for the first time in years, if that tells you anything. Speaking of,

Currently Working On: A follow-up to my previous fic, Steady, Steady! I wanted to have it up this week, but it is a behemoth. I'm a little over halfway through my plot outline and I'm at 10,441 words. Fun fact, this will be my longest single-chapter fic so far. Not just in the fandom, not just on AO3, but ever (so far!)

No-Pressure Tagging: @merely-a-player, @penguin-writes-books, @el-fandom-birb, @marley-barnes112, @isweartheyregayyourhonor, and @look-at-those-niceass-rocks (since I've already dragged you back to tumblr kicking and screaming)

[m00ngbin]

HI HI SORRY TO BOTHER YOU BUT I HAVE TO SAY THAT I REALLY REALLY LOVED YOUR FANFIC!!! IT WAS SO TOOTH-ROTTINGLY SWEET, I ADORED IT. IT WAS SO CUTE AND I LOVE YOUR WRITING STYLE AND AHHH I LIKED IT A LOT. YOU’RE CHANGING MY WORLDVIEW AND INTERPRETATION OF THE SUZUKIS IN REAL TIME. I LOVED THAT YOU REMEMBERED LITTLE THINGS LIKE THE KITTEN, AND IT FELT LIKE YOU WERE WRITING A REAL KID. IT WAS JUST, IDK IT WAS REALLY REALISTIC AND I FEEL LIKE YOU GOT IT PERFECT. MY FAVORITE SCENE WAS WHEN SHOU AND HIS MOM FIRST CAME INSIDE, I FELT SO BAD THAT HE WAS DISAPPOINTED BUT IT WAS KIND OF FUNNY. And the way you came in with a little bit of angst right at the end? REALLY GOOD. OBVIOUSLY IT WASN’T SAD ENOUGH TO BE ANGST ANGST AND YOU KEPT IT LIGHT, AND I THINK THAT WAS JUST WHAT IT NEEDED. SO GOOD I will be reading this over and over

I do have a few questions about it. How long did it take you to write it? Which scene did you write first? Did you have any inspirations or people you’d recommend? Were there any last minute decisions that you made? If I think of more I’ll send more asks :)

Oh also: I wanted to know, are you ever going to write again? I know it’s the only fanfic you’ve ever written and I can’t imagine how hard writing them is, but I really love your writing style and if you ever did write again I would freak out

And I’m sorry you’ve been getting harassed by anons today

OH WOW HI OH MY GOD? ARGAJSIFHWKDJ YOURE NOT BOTHERING ME AT ALL, I CANT BELIEVE YOU REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS THAT GOOD?? I'm really really glad you liked it, you have no idea how happy this is making me. :DD I was on call with a friend when I got this ask, and she can confirm that I SCREAMED when I saw the notification. I'm glad you thought Shou was realistic, I was really worried about that ajekehej. AND OMG. THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SCENE TO WRITE!! IM REALLY GLAD YOU LIKED THAT ONE

1. It took me maybe two weeks? I'm not 100% sure because it's been a couple months, but that's my best guess. 2. I (shockingly) ended up writing the beginning scene first. Sort of. It was originally a narrative practice I was doing for a class I took last year, but it evolved into me wanting to actually do something with it. 3. Yeah, I did. I'm almost a little embarrassed saying who I would recommend or who inspired me, so I'll comment them after I post this or something like that. 4. Adding the kitten was a last minute decision because I had completely forgotten that the Suzukis had one until LITERALLY the day that I published it

Hopefully I will write again, because I do really like writing. I do have a couple ideas right now, but they're only half-baked outlines and I haven't been able to start on anything because I've been worried about the quality of my writing ajalsifnsk

[crushculture03]

Chapter 2

Chapter 2 in the Teachers assistant universe!

Content warning : Toxic relationship, Ab*sive relationship, yelling, self hate, bruise, slap, mentions of dickhead guys.

Notes: I thought of this idea of him comforting her and went with it. There’s a surprise at the end though!

You quickly walked back to your apartment, trying your best to calm down from the interaction you just had with Matty. You turned your key in the lock, and opened the door slowly. “Finally your home” a voice says, making you jump. You turn in the direction it came from and your heart sinks as you see your boyfriend sitting on the couch. “Hey Liam” you mumble as you set your bag down on kitchen table. “I waited 3 hours for you and all you have to say is hey?” he shouts, walking up towards you, anger evident in his eyes. “ I’m sorry, I was called in by the Professor i’m T.Aing for'' you respond, “Which one?” he inquires, “Professor Healy” you mumble back. Liam laughs “That guy? He seems like a total tool who is definitely going to try and fuck you” he says, “He’s actually really nice” you say, defending matty.

Your boyfriend’s face drops, “You’re just saying that because you want him to fuck you huh?” he says, “God yes It’ll be better than whatever you try to do” you think, “That’s rich coming from you” you say, “Excuse me? What did you just say bitch?” Liam says, as he gets in your face. “Don’t act like in the time we’ve been together you haven’t cheated on me!” you shout back. Suddenly you feel a harsh slap hit your cheek “Because Any girl is better than you” he spits, “Get the fuck out and never come back Now! Leave!” you yell as you push him to the door. '`You're going to regret this” he says, “Don’t think I will, so take your big ego and small dick to the sorority house down the block” you say, before slamming the door in his face.

You scream in annoyance at the interaction you just had with him. You knew it was just another one of your guys fights, something that has been common in the relationship ever since he cheated on you the first time. You knew you should break up with him, everyone told you too, but the thing with Liam was he was very manipulative and easily persuaded you into taking him back.

You laid down on your bed and stared up at the blank ceiling, just trying to process all the events of today. Tears of frustration streamed down your eyes, all you wanted to do was have the courage to break up with Liam, but you knew you didn’t have it just yet. Your thoughts then shifted from Liam to Matty. The way Matty made you feel, even without trying, made you feel alive again, something you hadn’t felt in a while. You wiped your tears before getting dressed and grabbing an ice pack for your cheek, you knew a bruise would form by the morning and you’d have to cover it up. You laid back down in the bed, thoughts of matty plagued your mind until you fell into a deep sleep.

The next day you woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. You checked it and saw the typical apology messages from Liam, but what surprised you was the other notification you received, one from Matty. You decide to ignore Liams texts and click on the message matty sent you, it read

“Hey! Need some help with grading? Would you be free today?”

Yeah of course! I’ll be right over!

Perfect see you soon xx

You quickly got dressed as fast as you could and ran out the door, forgetting one very important step in your routine, covering up the bruise. On the walk over to his office you received many weird stares from students, but didn’t know why, so you decided to just brush it off. You knocked on his office door, “Come in” his voice says. You carefully open the door and step into his office, “Hey Matty” you say as you close the door behind you.

He looks up at you with a smile, but it quickly drops when he see your face, “Y/N what happened?” he says, as he stands up from his desk and comes up to you. You look at him confused, “What do you mean?” you say. Matty reaches his hand out to cup your bruised cheek, you wince a bit and your eyes go wide realizing what he and everyone else was seeing. “Who did this to you?” He asked, anger and sadness flashed in his eyes as he looked at the purple bruise. “N-no one, i accidentally hit myself with a door” you say, trying to make up any excuse you could, and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to curl up under a blanket and hide from the world.

“Don’t lie to me love i can see the outline of fingers” he says. You finally break as tears begin to pour down your cheeks. Matty pulls you into his arms, holding you while you sob. “Shh it’s ok it’s going to be ok i promise” he whispers before kissing the top of your head. “But it’s not” you sob, pulling away from him, “he always comes back and I always let him, because he says he can’t live without me, but if that was true he wouldn’t be sticking his dick in other girls” you cry, feeling stupid as the words that come out of your mouth.

Matty guides you over to the couch in his office and sits you down, “He?” he asks, “My-my boyfriend liam” you mumble out, as you look down at your hands, too embarrassed to face him after your confession. “Boyfriend?” he asks, still trying to process everything, you had never mentioned to him you had a boyfriend, that was because whenever you were with matty you completely forgot. “On and off for the past 2 years” you say, “he did this to you?” Matty says, his voice rising as anger coursed through his veins. You slowly nodded your head, “He got mad at me for being out late, and accused me of wanting to sleep with you, and when I called him out for cheating he slapped me” you say, still not looking at matty. Mattys heart breaks when she says this, he can’t help but feel guilty for calling her in so late last night.

“Has he done this before?” Matty asked, gently placing his hands on top of yours, to comfort you. You sheepishly nod your head, matty sighs “I’m so sorry” he whispers as he pulls you into his arms. You knew it was probably extremely inappropriate to be in this position with your Professor, but something about mattys embrace made you feel like you were safe and protected. “You need to tell the school and the police, and you need to break up with him love” matty whispers, gently nudging your chin up so you’re facing him. “I-I can’t they won't believe me” you mumble, matty sighs “I can go with you if you want” he offers. “You would do that for me?” you say, “Of course, no one should ever be treated like this darling” he says. “Will you come with me when I break up with him? I’m scared he’ll hurt me like last time and you’re the only person who makes me feel safe” you say, “Of course darling” he says, reassuring you.

After you calmed down a bit, you looked at matty and said “Thank you Matty, for caring and helping me out”. He smiles “No need to thank me Y/N” he says, you just smile and place your head back on his shoulder.

The next hour was a blur to you, you and matty had gone to the dean's office and police station to file a report, you didn’t think they would listen to you but they did and even said Liams name had come up in many reports, especially on campus, before. After that you both made your way to Liams apartment, in typical fashion he begged for forgiveness, but instead of giving in you broke up with him. His face dropped and his eyes filled with rage, but before he could lay his hands on you Matty stepped between you both and ushered you out of the apartment.

You both had made it back to your apartment, deciding it would be best for you to rest the rest of the day. “Thank you again Matty” you say as your stood infront of your door. “No need to thank me darling, I’d do anything for you” he says, not realizing the undertones of the last part of his sentence. Your cheeks go slightly pink “I appreciate it” you say back, he nods his head in acknowledgement and smiles. “I’ll let you relax, but call me if you need anything ok?” he says, you nod you head before he turns around to walk out.

“Matty” you call out, he turns around, confused slightly, without thinking you rush up to him, gently cupping his face with your hands and pulling his lips onto yours. The kiss catches him off guard at first, but he quickly kisses you back, his hands resting on your hips as your lips move in sync. You both pull away for air and look at eachother “I-i’m sorry I don’t know what came over me” you say, your cheeks flushing pink thinking you’ve embarrassed yourself. “It’s ok love” he says back, his demeanor is cool but on the inside his mind is still buzzing from the kiss. “I’ll see you on monday” you say and quickly turn on your heels and rush back into your apartment before he can say anything.

[eldritch-spouse]

HOLY SHIT

Loved the new fic with pegging Nebul😵‍💫🥴

Tho I did kinda feel bad for him 💀

Could you perhaps write a follow up to what happens the next day? Like how Nebul acts when he is sobered up and then having to face the entire group chat making fun of him😔😪

Maybe even later, him and Admin having a talk about what happened to him that caused him to use pearls?

(Also would Nebul be more wary or something like that around Admin considering,even tho it was a punishment, how wrong* and rape-y it was?💀)

*I know, bc they are monsters, that don't have morals and "wrong/right" but still, hope you get me🫠)

Anyway, have a good day/night, and I absolutely ADORE your fics, ur definitely one of my favourite acc on Tumblr 💜💜💜💜💜

[Thank ye anon! 🤍 I don't write follow ups much, if at all, but I can give this a general go. A couple of things here though:

1) There's no point in Nebul being wary of Admin. He knows very well what he signed up for when he took the deal to work under Krulu, just like any other of the workers there. If Admin walked into the room and demanded they bend over, they'd have to. And they know that's a possibility. They've consented to essentially living under Krulu's (and by extension your's) will, subtly. Will Nebul be colder afterwards? Probably. Does he justity her actions? No, not really. Does he understand they're part of what he signed up for? Yes;

2) While monsters inside The Clergy's Eye are all degenerates with a skewed sense of morality, if they have any at all, most monsters outside are part of civilized society and do have the same morals you'd find in a human. That's not to say feral monsters or evil ones don't exist, they sure do. Point is, everyone outside of TCE would call what went down between you and him rape. Clear as day.]

Part 2 of this fic.

TW: Mentions of past noncon, bullying(?), mentions of drug abuse.

He expected as much.

Some part of Nebul knew the "forced into submission" part was never the real punishment.

Waking up with a horribly sore ass and hundreds of notifications as his coworkers saw him get viciously exploited was. The sounds of him begging, crying, screaming in sensation forever immortalized in video form.

Well played, Admin, well played.

He didn't think you'd actually manage to shake him. Which is idiotic of him to assume, given you have an infinitely more knowledgeable entity on your side. Perhaps he really did have to get "put in his place", as much as it disgusts him to say so. One can never get too comfortable when working under these circumstances, and Nebul supposes the intoxicating power of the building's atmosphere got in his head, allowed him to procrastinate, dismiss, decide for his superiors.

Needless to say, they're very thorough with their punishments. Not that Nebul expected less, he's not the only one subjected to such.

Nothing quite could have prepared him for the moments where he entered the break floor, greeted by the entire team cackling and quipping as shameful echoes of his cries rang across the entire floor. The wraith didn't expect any less bullying than what he got. Alas, it's something he'll have to wait out and process, which is simple enough. It takes a lot more to break his spirit than equally degenerate monsters joking and jabbing at his expense.

At least Patches was smart enough to give him a soft "A day in my shoes, huh?" kind of look. Everyone else made it a point to get on the undead's nerves. Not that they succeeded much.

The robot would randomly blast soundbites of his own wailing as he passed by the shopkeeper, sometimes clips of him mid-orgasm. It was apparently hilarious enough to send Vinnel tripping as he hacked and cackled. Grimbly would taunt him with the possibility of uploading this video to a porn site, though Belo was there to caution him that such violates the agreements of his "work contract". He'd still hear Vinnel mocking him from his stage, loud and clear imitations of his noises, and he swears Morell's boisterous laughter was deep enough to be heard on the highest floor of The Clergy. Gallon was slightly softer about his mocking, at least to Nebul's face. And Sybastian, bless that half-wild mimic, didn't really have much to say apart from odd snickering.

Still, the wraith is anything but content with this, especially when he has to consistently shoo away the most persistent of his coworkers.

" You know, you sounded really hot in that video. " Santi slurs, half-drapped across his counter. He's not here to buy anything, just to pester. As usual. " Hotter than usual. "

" Mhm. " Nebul keeps cool, jotting down stocks.

" I jerked off so hard to it. " Of course he did. The wraith wishes, now more than ever, that he could roll his nonexistent eyes. " Why don't you give me a shot? I bet I can make you feel just a good, better maybe. "

" Have you considered bothering literally anyone else? " The demon is a weird case, he's not being nefarious in his approach, merely spotting an opportunity to eat. Still, he should know better by now.

" Come on, don't be like that, love. " The incubus laments, biting his lower lip. " There's no need to be ashamed, it feels good to get stuffe- "

The elevator dings, his salvation. Or so Nebul thought, until you stepped out. Fuck.

" Santi, give him a break, will you? "

The demon spins around, eyes brightening as he all but glues himself to you. " Oh, OH! Is this round two? I want in, please? Can I at least watch? "

You snort, lightly pushing him away. " Once was enough. "

Santi makes a displeased sort of sigh, wandering further into the perverted isles to soothe himself while you approach the shopkeeper with the same friendly look you'd give him any other day, as if nothing transpired yesterday.

" Let's have a talk, Nebul. " You begin softly, hands behind your back.

He knows that wasn't a request.

" Of course, my lady. "

The garden is calm, but then again, it's quite early. The clouds are heavy, a smog seems to settle in the air, moist and sickly.

He sits with you on a bench, a comfortable distance apart. Naturally, you note the awkward tilt of his hips.

" That did hurt, hm? " There's a proud glint to your eyes. And Nebul would feel offended, if he didn't know he would feel exactly the same way were he in your place.

" Naturally. You were harsh. "

Taking a sip of your coffee, a pause unfolds, calculated. " When am I not? Was there ever a time where I was soft? "

Fair enough, he supposes.

" I've threatened to drill into Fank-e's visor. I've dissolved parts of Gallon with corrosive substances. I've cut off and consumed chunks of Morell. There is nothing I won't do to make sure the rules of this establishment are respected. " You shrug. " Not that I particularly seek to do this, I prefer to reward you. "

" True. " Nebul gives you a look, silently asking why he was called here, to which you nod.

" Sybastian. "

He's confused for a moment, then the bench next to yours seems to jump, two yellow eyes sprouting from a leg. You don't even deign to stare at the monster, which is amusing to the undead.

" I know that's you. Bugger off for a bit. "

Sure enough, said bench quickly deforms into the tall mimic, and he skitters away on all fours, defeated.

" Small talk is not our modus operandi. " You start, gathering the wraith's attention. " Why do you use pearls? "

Why does he use pearls? It's something Nebul himself has pondered on. There's no clear answer, if he had one, he might have already dropped the habit. He's not sure what to tell you, though it's pleasantly surprising that you'd care. He supposes that, technically, you have to care, the health of your workers is important. But the wraith understands you also spare fondness for him, such is felt through your bond.

" You can talk to us, it'll die here. "

" I'm aware. "

" Take your time. "

And he does. Figuring there's no point dodging the topic. It's not as if he's ashamed of his actions.

" For as long as I've been aware of myself, I've felt a craving I could never satiate. " Nebul stares off. " This isn't uncommon for undead, as we all spawn from the unresolved turmoils of our living husks. Yet, at the time, I believed I was merely hungry. So I ate until I got sick, trying to cure this mystery ailment. "

You make a small noise of acknowledgement.

" The moment I discovered pearls is one I can't recall. But they... They filled me, Admin. They're giving me a taste of something I lost. Somehow. "

He feels vulnerable, Nebul doesn't like how much it's starting to hurt to talk about this.

" Something you lost when you were alive. " Your stare is pensive and intrusive, a taste of his own medicine, he supposes.

" I was never alive. Whoever that human was, that's not me. " The shopkeeper clarifies, finding himself a touch too reactive, defensive.

" Yes. My point still stands however, you're carrying someone else's burden and you're coping with it through psychostimulants. "

Brutal honesty, something he can appreciate in you. His mood still drops further. It's funny, Nebul feels worse now than he did when he woke up earlier today and realized what happened.

" That's not unheard of. Patches- "

" Patches carries his own sins on his back. " You interject. " He's had glimpses onto his past and he chooses not to remember more than he must. " Fingers cross on your lap, eyes glazing. He knows that look, Krulu's speaking to you. " You know nothing. You need closure. "

Nebul freezes. This type of powerlessness, of vulnerability, is much worse than getting turned into a submissive mess. He's realizing he'd rather bend over for you again than continue this conversation.

" Admin, I... "

" You need healing. You're not someone who hides from your problems, you will fix them, this is an order. " Your hand meets his clawed one, the grip firm. Through it, Nebul senses concern, a desire to help and comfort.

It cracks at him, hard. Harder than it should. He shakes minutely.

" I feel so empty. It doesn't go away, it never goes away. It's always so cold. I have no idea what he did, to make me this way, but it's unbearable. " The monster has to pause, catching himself before he could choke. It's so very foreign to let himself be open. " In all honesty, I don't think I want to know why I'm so empty. "

You sigh, stroking over his knuckles and nodding to yourself. " It's a process. I think it would benefit you in the long run. You need to let us know when you're ready to explore that. "

Nebul makes an ambivalent head gesture, deeply uncomfortable.

When you rise, he stays placid.

" Come on, let's watch Pebble's flying lesson with Belo. Last time he nearly broke the fountain, you know? "

That does make him chuckle quietly.

[astrobei]

The end of the year is near. Give a shout-out to your favorite mutuals and tag them to spread love before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)

ohhhh my god ok ok i wish i could tag every single person i am technically mutuals with because i adore every single one of you and your blogs so much !! unfortunately if i did that you’d probably be here scrolling through this post well into the new year, so. this is by no means an exhaustive list!!

@elekinetic ELLA !! you were one of the first blogs i ever followed on st tumblr when i joined and i immediately. IMMEDIATELY. fell so in love with your scripts and your writing! you so are so insanely talented and such a backbone of byler tumblr and i can’t believe we get all of ur content for free. for FREE!! and not only are u insanely talented but somehow u are also so funny and one of the sweetest people i’ve ever and ur taste in everything from music to books is so immaculate. will never get over u dming me just to scream at me ABOUT me which seriously makes my day every time it happens and i’ll never EVER get sick of talking to you! ella i love you so much and i’m so glad we started talking this year!! i hope 2022 has nothing but the best of the best in store for you <3

abby @strangeswift HELLO ! every time i see ur url in my notifs i visibly light up i stg you are so precious to me <3 ur love for not all the prayers is singlehandedly sustaining me, and i’m so touched that long car rides have unofficially been dedicated to reading my fics. you are such a breath of fresh air and getting an ask from you is always the highlight of my day. you make me laugh you make me smile like an idiot at the tumblr app on my phone you are just so!!! PRECIOUS 2 ME!! i love your blog so much and i can’t wait to bother u so much in the new year !!

sierra aka THE @finalgirlbyers aka THE byler blog of all time !! sierra there’s just something in ur posts that’s like straight crack i stg i just need more and more and more and more every time! in my mind u will always be sierra loveqbrl madcleradin finalgirlbyers ft that one period of 15 minutes where u had ur secret username that just so happened to coincide with me running my tumblr stats website thing and u being immortalized as that forever in my phone. because apparently i reblog from u more than anyone else which YEAH. AS I SHOULD. as everyone should!!! sierra u are so fucking funny and your urls are just one of those that are so comforting to see in my notifs. one day we will have an actual conversation because i am so bad at dms but i could try and make an exception for u <3 love u so much sierra love bbq i hope 2023 is so good to u !!

@toystoryfan HI TOY! u are so important to me i hope u know that omg u are so sweet and so uplifting and i can’t believe i wasn’t following u before but i love your blog so much ! u have such a comforting presence and i love reading through ur tags and every time i get an ask or a reply from you i get so excited! thank u for being such a positive shining force, with me and all of my mutuals too, it’s so so so appreciated <3 i adore you so much and i hope the new year has nothing but good things to offer u !!

@wibble-wobbegong hiiiii wibble ! i hope u know that every time i see ur blog i am just picking it up and holding it so carefully in my hands. i think i also followed u pretty early on into my tumblr adventures (or at least i saw ur url everywhere bc everyone i followed rb’d from u !) so in my head ur like. an og byler tumblr blog. u are so so sweet and i will never forget u referring to me (in the context of how intimidating i am) as “just some guy” because it’s SO TRUE!! i AM just some guy! anyways. just know that i adore you and your blog is so so incredibly precious to me ! love reading ur tags love reading ur posts u are so correct all the time and ur icon is. well. iconic. love u wibble i hope u get one million followers in 2023 bc u deserve it fr

last but certainly not least— irene aka THE @byeler hello !! i know we haven’t spoken one on one all that much and i’m terrible with responding to dms anyway but . ohhhh my god i have been a little obsessed with you ever since i got twitter sjdksjf in a very normal and sane way i promise ! irene you are so sweet and kind and supportive and so insanely down to earth for literally being THE beansie! i’m so in love with your writing and it’s no secret how much i yelled and screamed into the pillow when i read i’ll find myself in the moonlight 😭 had to sit down and just. Think. i just started heavy hopes and. god. GOD!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH. !!!!!! anyways i freak out a little every time i see ur name in the notifs but u are so lovely and approachable u make everyone feel so at ease and i treasure every interaction we have! thank u for ur mile long list of reddie fic recs, i’ve been making my way through them for the past week and ur taste in fics is just as incredible as ur writing <3 hope u have a wonderful new year irene i love u much !!

[the-force-awakens]

nym! 💜🥹 came here to scream thank you for your kind tags and meant this message to be a reasonable length but now it’s longer than a star wars opening crawl and sappier than a hallmark card so. sorry about that. but anyway, here it is: i never told you this, but we met after i’d taken a long break from tumblr - i’d been sent so much hate by sequel haters that it’d gotten to the point where i’d get anxiety, so i’d deleted a huge majority of my sw gifsets and stopped blogging so much about it and as far as online went, felt my sw excitement deflate. you helped change that. you were so unfailingly kind and had so many incredible st insights and jokes and your love and enthusiasm were so contagious that it made me get over my anxiety and start blogging more about sw again, which made me happy bc i’d missed all the joy that galaxy far, far away had given me. so i guess i really just want to say thank you. 💜 you are always so incredibly passionate, creative, and talented, and above all, so relentlessly kind and such a bright spot in the fandom, even when i’m sure you’re stressed or having a bad day or dealing with annoyance in your own notifs, and i feel so, so lucky to have clicked that follow button. 🫶🫶🫶

oh, sophie 🥺🥹 when I tell you I just kind of had to sit my phone down and cry a little bit (happily!!) because of how overwhelmingly sweet this message is and how much it means to you?? Oh man. I'm gonna put my own star wars crawl length response below, but I don't think it'll be very coherent

I can't say I blame you there in the slightest. I didn't take a break from Tumblr, but I did leave the fandom at the very beginning of 2020 because of it, and - if you can believe - briefly threw in the towel of trying to defend the movies because of how exhausted I was by how loud all the haters were.

I wasn't actively even creating at the time, but I was hanging in active fan spaces at the time and the negativity then (and prior to that, back in 2018) was enough to burn me out on them, and gave me severe anxiety about the final two movies (which I'm actually still working through but seem to have finally mostly gotten over) — the fact that you actually got hate for it makes me so mad, you absolutely did not deserve that, the fact that so much of the SW "fan"dom is built up on tearing each other and the franchise down is absolutely heinous, when the movies are so full of heart and fans with that same amount of love should be celebrated not ridiculed!

It was a little bit because of that, that I went back and revisited the movies. I mean, sure, I missed my kiddos and had been not so subtly pining for Poe Dameron in that year break but, I knew I loved them, y'know? I knew those movies had a special place in my heart and I knew there had to have been a reason for that. So I became determined, hell or high water, to find the heart of those movies and refind my love for them and they made it so, so easy, it genuinely only took one rewatch for me to be sucked back in and fall in love all over again with that trilogy that really does just feel like home to me.

And then after that, I just decided to be as vocally positive about it as humanly possible, regardless of who listened or not, and any amount of hate I got on my sets or saw in my peripheral just made me even more ruthlessly determined to put more love and enthusiasm out there into the universe.

That said, I didn't expect to make any kind of difference by being so loud about it, but I'm so so so happy that it did and that you wound up in a place where you're comfortable to blog about star wars again 🥺🫂 and also for the record I wILL go into battle for you if anyone ever gives you a fuss again.

[waywardxwords]

OMG. @zepskies - sdlfkjsldfkj. I'm not even functioning at the moment, but I'm gonna try to get coherent thoughts out here, lol.

I hate-hate-hate that she had to go back into the office, but it was inevitable, I guess. I loved how Dean kept checking up on her, just to be sure she was alright.

“As you know, my father’s back in town,” you heard Nick say. You inched closer to the door and cautiously peeked through the three inches of space in the doorway.  “We’re working together on this,” he said. “Keep an eye on the cop. Wait for an opportunity.” You blinked in shock. Holy shit…Nick’s father is Azazel.

Alllll of this had me internally screaming, "NO, YOU KNOW TOO MUCH! PLUG YOUR EARS AND GO AWAY!" lol. Ughhh. On the edge of my seat with this one.

I was actually super surprised she decided to call John, but I understood her reasoning behind it (I think it also paired well with the story, because [in my opinion] I feel like Dean would have gone straight to her in that moment, and she maybe didn't feel like that was necessary?) Also, Dean does handle pressure well, but I feel like he wouldn't handle it as well when it comes to her. John is kind of an unbiased third party in this situation, so makes sense.

“I want to go over that report you brought upstairs,” he said.

Ughhhh. I was hoping she had snuck away fast enough.

I had to have expected there to be a fire at some point, but I wasn't expecting it yet! SO GOOD. But terrifying!

Bobby saw the desperation in the younger man’s eyes, and he sympathized. “Have you tried calling her again?”

I really, really, really loved this exchange with Bobby. I feel like Bobby has kind of been a hard-ass a little bit? Which I get, with the role he plays in the fire house (good ole Bobby Singer ❤). But I loved how here he could see the desperation in Dean. It shows how much he cares about Dean and his wellbeing, too.

But I also respect that he has rules to follow to keep his firefighters safe. So I fully expected his response to Dean being that of following protocol.

(I also loved how Benny, Jack and Gordon all followed Dean up the stairwell even though they weren't supposed to.)

I'm so glad Andréa was able to get out, but seriously - edge of my seat this entire chapter. And then Dean found her (so glad he got to her rather quickly, all things considered) but then the FALL. WHYYY!

Something that I really loved though was the fact that she woke up to Eileen and Sam.

I feel like a big part for the reader has been that she is still struggling to understand who she belongs with. After her grandfather passed, it felt like she felt alone. But now, Sam and Eileen are there to help her and take care of her as she recovers. I'm glad she has them.

Ugh and then to end it with this:

“Like everything else, that girl is a problem I’m going to fix,” Daniel said. “Along with the whole Winchester brood.” 

Hate that Nick survived (although is it weird that I feel strangely bad for him, like his father is such a dick, it's no wonder he turned out how he did? And the fact that nothing he does seems to be good enough? Idk - still hate him. But feel a teeensy bit bad for the dude).

SO GOOD! Sorry for the novel. And sorry for blowing up your notifications, lol. Gotta get caught up!!

Smoke Eater - Part 16

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.   

🔥 Series Masterlist

Song Inspo: “Run to You” by the Pentatonix

Word Count: 6,200 Tags/Warnings: Physical altercation, perilous situations, fire hazards, injuries, angst, Nick and Azazel being evil psychos. 

Part 16: “Break Down the Gates”

The holiday couldn’t last forever. Eventually, you had to go back to work.

Dean didn’t like it, and neither did you. Hell, even Sam had tried to find an opening in the district attorney’s office for you. Unfortunately, all of the positions you were remotely qualified for were filled.

And as your bills had to get paid, it meant you had to take Betsy all the way up to the 22nd floor of the Savage & Co. building on a Monday morning.

Dean was already calling you.

You couldn’t answer until you got off the elevator and away from its shitty reception, but you let out a sigh before you called him back.

“Hey,” you greeted.

“Hey, sweetheart. How you doin’?” Dean asked.

“I’m good. I just got to my office,” you replied. I was also fine 20 minutes ago on the road.

You had to be patient though. You knew he was worried about you, now for more than one good reason.

“Good. Got your taser all charged up?”

“Yep, it’s in my purse,” you said. You closed the door to your office and locked it. “Which is going in my desk. You’re at the station?”

“Yeah, having my coffee right now.”

“Okay, tell the guys I said hi.”

“Will do,” said Dean. “You need anything, just call me. If you can’t get ahold of me, call Cas, or Sam, or even my dad.”

“I promise I will,” you replied. “I have to get to work here, but I hope you have a good day. And be safe.”

“That I will,” he promised in turn. “You too, baby.”

You smiled.

Once you hung up with Dean and got settled at your desk, you started by powering through your work emails. All too soon, however, there was a knock at your door. You fought against the tremor of unease that ran up your spine.

“Who is it?” you asked.

“It’s Marv,” replied your coworker, through the door. “Since when do you lock yourself in your office?”

You let out a breath and smiled. You got up and went to let him in. “I’ve found that people are less likely to interrupt me when they can’t get in.”

When the door opened, Marv gave you a look of begrudging acceptance.

“I hear ya,” he said. The man was a hermit himself, so if anyone was going to understand your self-barricading, it was Marv.

He handed you a hard-copy manilla envelope containing his monthly report, because he also had a disdain for email. 

“Why don’t you give this to Nick yourself?” you asked with a frown.

Marv held up placating hands. “Because he’s an ass, and I can only deal with so much idiocy in my life.”

“Then give it to Josh! He’s the new Senior Manager,” you pointed out.

“Josh kisses Nick’s ass. Therefore, he’s become an even bigger idiot,” Marv replied. “I’m telling you, my constitution just can’t bear it.”

You rolled your eyes and took the folder from him. “All right, get outta here. I’ll deal with this.”

“Thank you,” he said, inclining his head. He soon left to return to his hole of an office. You’d only been in there once. It had been stacked to high heaven with books and loose papers. You didn’t know how the man functioned, but you assumed it was equal parts caffeine and Prozac.

So you took the report, and you went up to the 30th floor for the first time in months.

You went down the hall to Josh’s office first, but you could hear from the other side of the closed door that he was locked in a meeting with one of the more difficult clients.

You could come back later, or just drop the folder off with Nick’s assistant.

You went back down the hall and found that Nick’s office door was cracked open, but you weren’t about to go in, even just to deliver a simple report. You didn’t want to speak to him, let alone enter his office.

His assistant was out on a break, it seemed, so you couldn’t just give it to her. You contemplated leaving it on her desk with a note. But that’s when you heard the voices coming from within the office.

“As you know, my father’s back in town,” you heard Nick say. You inched closer to the door and cautiously peeked through the three inches of space in the doorway. There was another man inside, slightly taller than Nick, but leaner. He was dressed casually, in jeans and a plaid shirt. His long arms were crossed as he listened.

You could tell by the way he stood, however, that this wasn’t an associate from one of their accounts. He didn’t look like a businessman or a lawyer. The way he stood was sharper, more calculated even in his laxness.

Your brain caught up with the conversation as Nick continued to speak.

“We’re working together on this,” he said. “Keep an eye on the cop. Wait for an opportunity.”

“Together, huh? Azazel has his orders. You trying to take his place?” the other man replied. His voice was thin and nasal. You saw his profile, however. His eyes were dangerous.

Your gaze widened at the implications of his words though. Azazel?!

“Dad agrees with me. The guy’s not getting the hint, so we’ll need to remind him who really makes the rules,” Nick said.

You blinked in shock. Holy shit…Nick’s father is Azazel.

You clasped a hand over your mouth before the gasp could escape. A sharp breath still echoed through the hall. The men’s heads began to turn, but you did as well—away from the door and booking it down the hall as quietly and quickly as you could.

Your heart pounded while you searched for a way out of the hallway, out of plain sight. You found the nearest bathroom and went into the women’s. It seemed empty, at least.

There you rushed into one of the stalls and locked it. You realized that you had your phone in your pocket, and you took it out with trembling hands. Your thumb hovered over Dean’s name as panicked breaths escaped you.

But the more you thought about what you’d heard, and Nick’s ominous threat about a cop, you found yourself scrolling lower in your contacts. You called John Winchester.

It rang a few times, and all the while you made silent, fervent prayers. Pick up, damn it! You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears.

“Winchester,” he answered.

“John, it’s me,” you whispered. “Azazel’s here. Or, he’s not here, here, but I know who he is. Well, I mean kind of—”

“Okay, wait. Slow down,” he said. “What about Azazel? You know who he is?”

“He’s Nick’s father,” you hissed. Trying to contain yourself and speak quietly was not easy. “I met him once at a company networking event, like a month after I got hired. Daniel Savage. He built Savage & Co. from the ground up. But he handed off the reigns to Nick years ago.”

It seemed to take John a moment to compute on that one, but he eventually replied.

“You’re at the office now?” John asked.

“Uh, yeah!” you replied testily. “I’m hiding out in a bathroom stall.”

“Okay, take it slow, all right?” he said. “You’re gonna go back to your office, calm. Like you didn’t just hear what you heard. You’re gonna take an early lunch, and you’re gonna come straight to the precinct for me. We’ll make sure you’re safe.”

You took a deep breath to steady yourself as you nodded, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Okay. I need to call Dean,” you said.

“I’ll fill him in. Just focus on getting out of there,” John said.

You agreed, but you still felt shaky when you ended the call. No one had entered the bathroom, and it had been a few minutes already, so you chanced stepping out of the stall and into the hallway. That too was empty.

You sucked in another steadying breath. This time you went down the stairs to get back to your office. It felt unusually warm in the stairwell. Hot enough that you actually started to sweat on the way down to the 22nd floor.

Damn, did the AC break or something?

You made it back to your office, though when you opened the door, you were unable to be relieved. Nick sat in your chair at your desk. He gave you a smile.

“Good morning,” he said.

“You’re not supposed to be in here. Get out,” you snapped. You had no patience for another tête-à-tête with him today; especially after what you just saw.

And it hit you then. You were a witness.

You eyed Nick more warily. He had one of his gold golf clubs in his hand, and he leaned on it as he stood. He set up a putter’s stance next to your desk and hit a golf ball with a gentle swing. The ball rolled into your flat shoe.

“I want to go over that report you brought upstairs,” he said.

You shook your head and went cautiously over to your desk. Your purse was inside (you were kicking yourself for not taking it with you upstairs). Nick was too close to your desk for comfort, until he moved to retrieve his golf ball. It allowed you to move farther into the room.

“Anything you want to discuss can be done via email. Right now, I’m meeting a friend for lunch,” you lied. Your gaze was off the man for maybe a few seconds while you grabbed your purse from inside the desk. Another realization hit you in that moment.

How did he know it was me who brought the report?

By the time you looked up, Nick was shutting the door to your office. He tilted his head at you with a darker edge to his smile.

“You saw something you weren’t supposed to. Didn’t you, sweetheart?” he said.

You steeled yourself with a breath. You felt inside your purse, and your hand wrapped around your taser. You pulled it out and switched it on, pointing it towards him.

“Step away from the door or I’ll fry your ass,” you threatened. It lost its effect somewhat, with the way your hand was shaking, but it was a threat, nonetheless.

Nick raised his brows at you. He still had his golf club in hand. His movements were slow as he stepped away from the door, and closer towards you.

“Sure you know how to work that thing?” he teased with a shrug of his shoulders. “If I were you, I’d take a breath. Relax a bit. Come sit on my knee.”

That last bit was teasing, despite the way he eyed you, even now with a shade of desire. The kind that claimed and stole in its taking. It made you want to spit in his face.

“You’re a bastard,” you replied. “Turns out, the bastard apple doesn’t fall far from the bastard tree.”

“Watch it,” Nick warned. You saw the dangerous edge in his blue eyes. “That’s my dad you’re talking about.”

He swung the club at your head.

You managed to duck, yelping as it crashed into a lamp instead. You tried to run for the door, but that was when Nick grabbed you by the hair and nearly yanked the hairclip right out.

A short scream escaped your lips as you grabbed for his wrist. He shoved you hard into the wall, where you lost your footing and fell. Your head cracked against the accent table that once held the lamp, and your vision blurred on the way down. Glass crackled under your arm and bit into your cheek.

A strong hand grabbed you and hefted you up. You felt a trickle of wetness rolling down the side of your face as you stared up into his. It must’ve been blood, but all you could focus on was the satisfaction in Nick’s eyes. Finally, they seemed to say.

But then he paused. Confusion was written across his face.

“Do you smell smoke?” he asked. You both saw it climbing under the door of your office.

It was a distraction that broke you out of your frozen fear.

On pure instinct, you jabbed at Nick’s ribs with your taser. His hands fell away from you and he went down like an elephant, jolting and writhing on the ground. You gasped for breath above him while you realized what you’d just done. You tilted your head down at him.

No, you weren’t done.

You grabbed his golf club with your free hand. When he tried to reach for your ankle, you jammed the heavy club into his hand until he shouted in pain. For every moment of frustration, anxiety, and fear this man had caused you, you gave it back to him with one heavy swing of that club into his stomach. (And maybe one more for good measure.) 

He doubled over, groaning, coughing a bit of blood. You tossed the golf club and grabbed your purse with a shaking hand. You left him where he laid.

As soon as you open the door, however, you were pushed back by the cloud of incoming smoke. You coughed and squinted against it, but your eyes widened again when you realized what was happening.

The building was on fire.

For some reason the alarms weren’t going off, but it was clear to see what was in front of you. Smoke was clogging the halls. People were rushing out of their offices for the stairwell. You couldn’t help glancing back at Nick; he was slowly pulling himself to his feet.

Part of you knew he might not make it if you left him, but when he looked up at you, with pure hatred, your fear overrode any mercy that might’ve made you turn around.

So you fled for the stairwell behind the small crowd. There were flames making their way down along with the smoke. That was all right, because you all were running in the opposite direction.

You had to blink a drop of blood out of your eyes, and you raised a shaky hand to a cut above your brow, which was also tender to the touch. You were bleeding, clearly, but you couldn’t think about that right now. You were just trying your best not to get pushed or trampled while you hastened down several floors.

The signs pointed to Floor 10 when you felt a buzzing in your pocket. It was your phone, you realized. You were about to fish it out of your pocket, but you were forced to stop short on the stairs, along with everyone else. 

The flames were coming from the floor below as well, blocking your exit.

Once again, Dean frowned while checking his phone. You still hadn’t answered his text from an hour ago. Benny came to sit beside him on the couch in the firehouse common room.

“What’s got you spacin’ out?” Benny asked, noting his friend’s mood.

“I don’t know,” Dean admitted. “But I’ve got a bad feeling, Benny.”

Benny’s brows furrowed. “Why, what’s wrong?”

Before Dean could answer, his phone rang in his hand. He perked up to answer it, until he realized it was his dad calling. He accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear.

“Hey, what’s up?” Dean greeted.

“Thanks to your girl, we know who Azazel is,” John said. “Daniel Savage. Nick is his son.”

Dean’s heart dropped into his stomach; his shock was followed swiftly by worry.

“What? How’d she find that out?”

“She called me this morning. I told her to come straight to the precinct, but she’s not here yet. That was an hour ago,” John said gravely.

Dean’s eyes widened.

And then the alarm sounded overhead. Over the intercom the dispatcher reported a working fire at a commercial building. The address was the same as your work building: Savage & Co.

“Is that you?” John asked, once the intercom message was finished.

“Yeah,” Dean said. He was already up and out of the firehouse, getting his turnout gear on with the phone pressed to his ear. His heart was hammering in his chest, but his tone was rock steady.

“If she’s still in that building, I’m gonna find her.”

Firehouses 18 and 20 had already arrived by the time Firehouse 25 got to the scene of the Savage & Co. building. The flames were sky-high, consuming from the top and the bottom. Just by looking at it, Dean thought there had to have been at least two points of origin (where the fire was started). He doubted this was an accident.

“Okay, 25,” Chief Singer said to the entire Truck 79 and Rescue Squad crew. “House 20 got here first, so Chief Sanderson’s calling the shots. He requested our help in clearing the first five floors. Their crew is already on floors 30 through 20. House 18 has the middle.”

Dean went up to Bobby and spoke just loud enough for him to hear. He filled him in on what John had just told him about Azazel, and that you were most likely somewhere in the building.

“She’s in there, Chief. I have to find her,” Dean said.

Bobby saw the desperation in the younger man’s eyes, and he sympathized. “Have you tried calling her again?”

“She’s not answering,” Dean replied. “If he found out what she knows, he could be after her. That means she could be somewhere near the top.”

“Or she’s in the middle. Or she’s already out of the building,” Bobby reasoned. He quelled Dean’s protest with a raised hand. It then fell on the younger man’s shoulder. “I understand, son. But I’ve got a protocol to follow, and so do you, Lieutenant.”

Dean’s lips pressed together. He knew his rank and his responsibility, but you were in danger. You could already be hurt, or trapped, or…

Dean rounded up Truck 79 with swift, barking orders. After donning their helmets and masks, his and Benny’s team made their way inside. The first floor was wall to wall rolling flames. The heat was nearly overwhelming, like entering the gates of hell.

There was no moving safely through the first floor, so they had to move on to the closest stairwell and try to make it up to the second. Dean held Benny back for a moment.

“I’m going up! Stick with the guys,” Dean said. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the cacophony inside the stairwell.

Benny frowned. “What’re you doin’? You heard the Chief!”

Dean shook his head. He knew he was about to defy a direct order, but he couldn’t shake the gut feeling that you were still in the building somewhere.

“I’ve gotta find her,” he said.

“You think I don’t want to find Andréa?” Benny said. “She hasn’t answered my calls either. They could be anywhere, Dean!”

Dean clasped his friend’s shoulder. “You’re making my point, man.”

And he took off up the stairs before Benny could stop him.

“Damn it, Dean!” Benny shouted after him.

“Where’s he going?” Jack asked. He and Gordon were the only ones to hang back while the rest of their crew followed their orders and searched the second floor, not realizing that their Lieutenant was no longer with them.

“To go be an idiot,” Benny growled. But he wasted no more time. He followed Dean up the stairwell.

Gordon shared a quick look with Jack before he started his own climb up the stairs.

“You can follow protocol, or you can back up the Lieutenant,” Gordon called down.

In that moment, Jack made a decision. He followed Gordon and Benny.

You had to follow the rest of the crowd after you all couldn’t make it down the rest of the stairs safely. It landed you somewhere on the 10th floor, where the group scattered. Your head was aching, your heart pounded in your ears, and you didn’t know where to go.

You fled for the stairwell on the other side of the building, and in turning a corner, you smacked right into Andréa. You gasped when you caught hold of each other.

“Oh my God!” she cried, and she grabbed you into a hug. “Are you okay? Why’re you bleeding?”

“Catch up later,” you choked out. It was so hard to breathe; you were coughing every few moments.

She looked on you worriedly and let out a cough herself. “Come on.”

She pulled you along with her by the arm. You joined a smaller group that were heading for the opposite stairwell. Unfortunately, not all of you would make it there.

A piece of the weakened ceiling crumbled and fell in a fiery heap. Andréa had been just a couple steps in front of you, and it meant you saw it before she did. You pushed her forward so she would make it across. You were forced to stop short and protect your face from the embers.

You nearly tripped and fell back, but you used the wall to steady yourself. You looked up at the sound of Andréa calling your name. You found her terrified face. There was now a wall of fire separating you from her and the rest of the group.

“Keep going!” you coughed. “I’ll find another way.”

“No, I’m not leaving you!” she called back. She pushed away the man that tried to urge her on towards the stairwell.

“Go!” you shouted, even though it raked across your throat. You forced yourself to straighten up and turn away from her. The only chance you had was if there was a way around this hallway that still led to the stairs.

Oh shit, you gasped when you turned the corner. The fire was only getting worse. The building was being consumed, and you almost couldn’t see past a few feet in front of you with all the smoke. It stung in your eyes and clogged your throat.

You stumbled along until you found a room that you could escape into. It was another restroom. The fire hadn’t yet reached inside the women’s bathroom on this floor; maybe you could wait it out like you would a tornado.

Okay, clearly I’m fucking delirious, you thought. You huddled in a corner under the sink and tried and failed to take even breaths without coughing or panicking. You pulled out your phone with shaking hands and tried once again to call Dean. The reception was absolute shit in the entire building now.

It rang, and rang, and rang. Tears slipped down your cheeks.

But despite your dismayed thoughts, he actually answered.

“Hey! Baby, are you there?!”

Your mouth fell open in shock. You clutched at the phone. “Dean!”

You coughed, and you realized smoke was rising under the bathroom door now. The fire would spread here soon enough.

“Where are you? I’m here at your building!”

“Bathroom, 10th floor!” you managed to reply. “I couldn’t get out.”

“It’s okay. I’m coming right now,” he said. “Stay put for me.”

“Yeah,” you said, with a shaky breath. You couldn’t exactly leave. “Dean, don’t hang up.”

“I won’t,” he promised. “Where’s…r—oom?”

He was glitching in and out. You gripped the phone tighter in panic. “Dean?”

“Can…ear m…”

“Dean!” Your tears fell anew. You had another reason to struggle for breath as you tried to reach him.

You slid out from under the sink to try and get better reception, but it was no use. The call failed.

“Shit!” You nearly tossed your cell across the room out of sheer frustration.

The bathroom door bursting open startled a scream out of you. Was the fire coming in?

The move did allow more smoke to infiltrate the bathroom, but instead of the fire, you saw a firefighter in all his gear. This time, it did include the helmet.

“Fire Department!” he called out.

You would know that voice anywhere. And even through the mask, you recognized the man’s eyes when he went to you.

“Dean,” you sobbed. It was halted only by a series of lung-wracking coughs and wheezing. He quickly took his helmet and mask off so he could fit the mask over your soot-covered face.

“It’s okay, deep breaths. I gotcha, baby, just breathe,” Dean encouraged. His arm was around your waist, holding you close while the oxygen finally allowed you to take in slower breaths and relax against him.

“Okay, let’s get out of here, huh?” he said. He put his helmet back on.

You grabbed the front of his jacket. “Don’t you need the mask?”

You were still having trouble breathing, coughing on every other word. Dean shook his head.

“You need it more right now,” he said.

You realized that Benny was holding the bathroom door open.

“We gotta go!” he said.

“Benny, Andréa was here,” you said. His eyes widened behind his mask. “She got out, I think. She made it to the west stairwell.”

“Okay, yeah, because no one’s getting out the east wing,” Gordon said. You noted him standing just behind Benny, with Jack in tow.

“There’s a block,” you said, pointing just ahead where you saw the pile of debris. More parts of the ceiling had crumbled around it, making it a fiery minefield. There was no other way around it at this point—only through it.

Gordon and Jack went through first, followed by Benny. With their jackets and protective gear, they were able to jump through like a flaming hoop. And they would be able to help catch you and Dean from the other side.

“Okay, you ready?” Dean asked.

“If I say no?” you said, holding onto him tighter. His hand soothed over your hair. You’d lost your clip a long time ago (along with your purse), so your hair was probably wild and frizzy and covered in soot, along with the rest of you.

Dean grinned down at you. “Then I’d say, don’t you worry. I’m not gonna let you fall.”

Even now, through your fear, he could make you smile. You steeled yourself and took a breath. You could hear it so clearly with the mask on. That, and your own heartbeat.

He counted down to three, and on the last beat, Dean covered your head and shoulders and ran with you under the flame-covered ceiling. He managed to help you jump over the fiery debris on the ground. On both of your heavy landings, a wooden support beam fell.

There was a shout from Benny, but it was too late. All Dean could do was cover you. The beam broke over his back and knocked his helmet clean off. He took you with him when he fell.

Your scream rang out—half at the fall, but mostly for Dean. It was Benny who dragged you and Dean out first. Gordon and Jack took over hefting an unconscious Dean, while Benny hauled you up onto your feet and led you to the west stairwell.

You passed out just as you felt fresh air hit the mask.

You woke to bright, fluorescent lighting that made you wince. An oxygen mask covered your mouth and nose and was strapped around your head. You made a sound of discomfort and tried to take it off, but a hand stilled yours.

“Don’t.”

Eileen’s concerned face came into view. You were confused, though happy to see her.

“You’re in the hospital,” she said. When you tried to speak, she held up a finger to you. Wait, said her eyes.

She took out her phone from her jean pocket to text someone.

“Sam is coming,” she told you, before she drew closer to sooth a hand up and down your arm. You felt tears in your eyes at just that small comfort.

They fell in earnest when Sam entered your hospital room. His eyes held the concern of a friend and a brother as he approached on your other side.

“Hey, how do you feel?” he asked, laying a hand on your shoulder.

You wheezed a breath and rasped, “Water.”

Sam nodded and grabbed you a plastic cup filled with cold water. It felt like literal heaven once the mask was off and you were able to drink. He helped you while Eileen held the mask away from your face.

After you’d had all you could drink, he took the cup and Eileen placed the mask back over your face.

“Where’s Dean?” you asked, after clearing your throat. You still sounded like a chain smoker, and your head was pounding. “Is he okay?”

“He’s stable,” Sam said, with a sigh. But when he didn’t offer anything more, you raised expectant brows at him.

“What else?” you said. Your tone told him not to skimp on any more details.

Sam’s gaze met yours. “The beam burned through his jacket, on his back. It hit his head. They…had to perform a minor surgery to relieve the pressure in his brain, but he’s stable in recovery now.”

He was quick to add on that last bit when you began to crumble. Eileen encouraged you to breathe through your tears. The oxygen could only do half the battle if you didn’t breathe properly.

“I want to see him,” you said.

Sam frowned and held up a placating hand. “I don’t think that’s—”

You ignored him and tried to sit up. With or without his approval, you were getting out of this bed.

“Okay, you’re not listening,” Sam sighed, though he immediately went to help you. He shot Eileen an imploring look over your head.

She got the hint and helped you on her side. Together they helped you stand while you removed the mask, then the heart monitor and other wires taped to your torso.

The Emergency Department team had left your pants on, thank goodness, but they’d clipped through your blouse and bra. So the paper gown was mostly to cover your top half like a light blue poncho. It was a bit airy in the back, but Eileen held it closed for you. Right now, you didn’t care much about your modesty. You were also walking around the hospital barefooted.

At least Dean was on the same floor. It was just a long walk down the hall.

“Can you call Benny and ask how Andréa’s doing?” you asked, coughing a bit.

Sam eyed you in thinly veiled concern, but he agreed. The last he’d heard from Benny was that Andréa had been cleared by the paramedics with minor smoke inhalation. You were clearly worse.

Sam held you upright when you finally saw Dean. He had to guide you into a chair beside Dean’s bed, where he slept on his side. On his back was a large stretch of white gauze across his upper back, from nearly shoulder to side at an angle.

“The doctor said they’re only second-degree burns. It looks worse than it is,” Sam said quietly.

Eileen rubbed your back in the hopes that you’d stop crying.

You could only focus on the gauze, the smaller nicks and burns around Dean’s face, the bandage and thick gauze near his temple where they’d apparently had to drill into his skull. He also wore an oxygen mask, because if all that wasn’t enough, you were sure “smoke inhalation” was on the list, thanks to the way he’d given you his SCBA mask.

Gently, very gently, you took his hand. Your thumb swept over the back of it, over each knuckle.

“Did they say when he’d wake up?” you asked. You rubbed at your aching stomach. Does smoke inhalation cause nausea too?

Your chest was also tight. You’d head back to your room sooner or later and get the oxygen mask back on.

Before Sam could reply, you heard a groan below. You looked down at Dean with wide-eyed hope. It took a moment, but his eyes slid open. They were unfocused and dark, until they found your face.

You smiled tearfully. “Hey, baby.”

Your free hand caressed his cheek. His eyes briefly closed at your touch. When he realized you were holding his hand, he squeezed a bit. That was enough for you.

Just then, however, you had to let go of his hand. Whatever was left in your stomach from this morning seemed to be revolting. You turned your head quick to throw up onto the hospital floor.

Both Sam and Eileen called your name when you slid out of your chair and onto the floor. You blinked tears out of your eyes…or actually, it was black spots encroaching on your vision.

Sam pushed the chair out of his way to get to you. He gathered you into his arms and shouted for a doctor while Eileen went for the emergency button on Dean’s hospital bed.

The last thing you saw was Dean’s worried face out of the corner of your eye, before the blackness took you.

Dean could barely speak behind his oxygen mask, but Sam saw his worry as the nurses carried you away in a stretcher with Eileen following close behind. Sam crouched in front of his brother and clasped his hand.

“She’ll be okay, I promise. I’m gonna look out for both of you,” Sam said. “Right now, you need to sleep.”

Dean’s brows furrowed. In that small gesture, Sam also saw his stubbornness. He almost smiled. You and Dean were a match made.

“Just rest, Dean. I’m going now to check on her, but not until you close your eyes,” Sam said. It took another stubborn minute, but Dean eventually relaxed as well as he was able. His eyes closed as he fell back under the pull of medication and painkillers.

“How’s he doing?” came the voice of their father in the doorway. Sam’s expression morphed from gentle to austere. His head turned towards his father.

“How does he look like he’s doing?” Sam asked. “He had a burning ceiling fall on him. He has the mother of all concussions, and he just saw his girlfriend collapse.”

John was quiet, in contrast to his youngest son’s ire. He stepped into the room and watched his eldest. Sam saw the man’s age in the lines around his eyes, in his slow gait when he raised a gentle hand to comb through Dean’s greasy hair, mindful of his injuries.

“This shouldn’t have fucking happened,” said John. His voice was tired and gruff. Sam knew what the weight of guilt looked like, but what he didn’t yet see was regret. If John hadn’t kept digging, digging, Azazel wouldn’t have taken it this far.

Okay, Sam didn’t yet have proof that Azazel burned down the Savage & Co. building…but he didn’t believe in coincidences.

“No,” Sam said. “It shouldn’t have.”

“What the fuck was that?!” Nick shouted.

He was still dusted with soot and sporting some cracked ribs from the day’s activities. He’d stumbled into his father’s house, taken a bottle of bourbon from the man’s shelf and started drinking straight from the crystal glass.

Daniel eyed him coolly from the balcony, smoking a cigar. “Whatever do you mean, son?”

Nick was furious. He stomped over, not caring how expensive liquor was splashing on him.

“Why’d you burn the whole damn building?” he demanded to know. “I could’ve died!”

“Alistair got you out, didn’t he?” Daniel pointed towards his son with the hand that held his cigar. “See, unlike you, I think ahead.”

“I’m serious,” Nick hissed. “Our company is still important—”

“My company,” Daniel interjected, “is not that building. However, the building itself was a liability.”

Nick’s brows knit together in confusion and anger. “What the hell’re you talking about?”

Daniel took a long drag of his cigar, puffing in Nick’s face. The latter coughed. As if he hadn’t had enough smoke in his lungs today.

“Don’t you see?” Daniel asked, with a sigh that also said he wondered how he could’ve produced such a moron. “It puts distance between you and ‘Azazel’ if you’re also a victim of his threats. It destroys any physical evidence of me having been there, along with any files you would’ve eventually had to turn over to the police and the FBI.”

Nick let that idea sink into his brain. He realized that it did make sense…but he deflated as something else occurred to him.

“Uh…see, that would’ve worked, but, we have a problem,” Nick scratched his head. “Someone knows who you really are.”

By the time Nick finished explaining about you, and what you’d overheard, Daniel’s sharp gaze managed to strike fear into Nick’s heart.

Yet to his surprise, the other man’s temper didn’t blow. Daniel kept it all inside as he continued to smoke. Cigars tended to pacify him better than cigarettes.

His lips twitched at a humorless smile. “Well, that is a problem.”

“But she probably died in the fire, so we’re good,” Nick shrugged.

“No, I doubt she did,” Daniel sighed. “You’re not that lucky.”

He rolled his shoulders. Then he grabbed Nick’s arm and twisted, until his was crying out and pinned to the nearest wall. Daniel threatened to put out his cigar in the soft underbelly of the arm he held.

Nick looked up at his father with wide, pleading eyes.

“Like everything else, that girl is a problem I’m going to fix,” Daniel said. “Along with the whole Winchester brood.” 

AN: 🫣 Don't hate me lol. It gets better for them, I promise. But we have a few more chapters left to go and a few more twists in store!

Next Time:

The first time Dean was awake for longer than a few minutes, he asked about you.

Sam wasn’t surprised. He was frankly relieved that he had an answer for his brother.

Keep Reading: PART 17

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List (Part 1):

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb

@vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91

@melancholictearz @nic-kolas @katherineann814 @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19

@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @xsophianicolex @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @deanfreakingwinchester @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420

[cherry-casino]

todays been wack already but holy fucking shit vent ig

im actually shaking as i write this so ignore any misspellings/punctuation (i wont be proofreading or fixing shit)

the day started off fine, i sat in bed on my phone n shit, and then my cousins walked in and one of them screamed DIRECTLY INTO MY FUCKING EAR which hurt and pissed me off but oh well. Then i got bored and decided to draw, so i was drawing yk and my uncle walks in, and i assume hes gonna talk to me, so i shut my sketchbook and then he started asking what i was drawing and telling me to show him? And then another cousin threw a toy at me and when i threw it back my mom saw it and got pissed at ME. Alright, thats fine, i can handle it. Around lunch/noon i played basketball with another one of my cousins who then proceeded to bully me for the sun knows what and bodyshame me. Okay, now im getting a bit more ticked off, but at this point im still (barely) hanging in there. Nighttime rolls around and we had my cake sang happy birthday yadayadayada (we celebrated early this year since my cousins were here) and i got my drawing tablet, which is all cool. I got on my computer to hook it up and i was in vc with one of my friends cause they were helping me (you know who you are, you did great dw) and then my mom walked in on me checking my notifications and said i "wasnt doing what i was supposed to" and that "i wasnt supposed to be playing games when i had more important stuff to do"" and then accused me of not even trying to connect my tablet when i told her i was working on it (i WAS trying, it wouldnt work.) and then my dad walked in and started messing with stuff and was going through my files which was freaking me out because "hey, the fucking file you need that ive pointed at 15 fucking times is OVER THERE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY SCREENSHOTS" and the strawberry cheesecake ice cream cake was NOT sitting well with my anxiety so i LOCKED MYSELF in my parents bathroom and had a full blown meltdown in the mirror, which helped none but oh fucking well. And so here i am, laying in my sisters bed since my aunt and uncle took my room, desperately holding onto my bodypillow and shaking and rocking myself back and forth trying not to cry infront of all these fuckin people as im typing this. Yeah, great fuckin day. The best.

[lifewithoutmeds]

February 4, 2024

felt the craziness set in again, or rather, firm up, like jello overnight.

the day was ok overall. got in a quick walk before it got cold and rainy. did some dishes, some cleaning. ate healthily: bagel and cream cheese (not so healthy), coffee, shrimp/bellpepper stir fry with one cup of rice, a fuji apple, a handful of baby carrots with sour cream, and am waiting for some boiled eggs to cool for my extra protein. i also went to new abbey and only cried a tiny bit but didn't cry this time during the sharing. partly because one lady monopolized the entire sharing time so i really didn't have an opportunity to.

but mostly i was distressed, i was tortured. i'd keep tearing up, unable to stop this torrent of emotion welling out of me. i felt again the way i did as i drove toward porto's the day after lorena went out with reyna for the first time, scream-crying, ashamed at my smallness, at my weakness. i later learned the word "simp," and i saw myself as a simp in every way, the simpiest of all simps, the king of simps.

i remember seeing a youtube video commentary of this poor guy who was clearly infatuated with this streamer, and all she did was insult him and he took it because it was enough that she was putting up with him, enough that she was next to him, enough that they were sharing space, and when everyone reached out to him to sympathize and tell him he deserved better, he actually defended the girl and said they were friends. and everyone felt so bad for him but also, that he was just another lost cause. and sometimes i feel like that last cause.

i messaged her again today. it's been torrentially raining here in socal and i saw that there was rain projected in SF too, which is where she was performing tonight, so i sent a quick, "i hear it's raining in SF. safe travels!" i didn't want to. i thought i could stop myself. but i did, and i thought at the time, "fortune favors the bold," and i thought there'd be no particular harm. if i didn't, i would be tortured that i hadn't tried reaching out again, and if i did, the worst i'd get is a non response or a short one. they'd all be bad but at least i'd know.

there has been no response. it's been several hours and she's been active on ig and even posted a couple stories. she must've gotten a notification that i messaged her but she's refusing to look at my message. it has not been left on read. it has not been read at all. as expected, i am losing my damn mind. tears keep dribbling out in a terribly embarrassing way.

at church, there was a very interesting question that was posed. and it was about authority. how jesus didn't wait for someone well-versed in the law to give him permission or authority to speak. harriet tubman didn't get special permission to go and free a bunch of slaves. neither did rosa parks. but they all decided, within themselves, that they had the authority, and that they had dignity and they didn't need to bow down to another person's authority when it conflicted with their idea of what was right.

the parting question was something like, what area of your life do you feel like you don't have authority, or something like, what could you do in your life if you had the authority ... something like that. i didn't have a chance to speak, but i mulled over this as some other lady spoke in length.

and i thought. every part of my life. i haven't really ever thought i had authority in ... almost any aspect of my life. i didn't have it at home, where i was the only child, and a girl of religious, conservative, strict immigrant parents. i didn't have it at school where i was short, and asian, not white enough to be a part of the whites, but not brown enough to be considered other, to be a part of the conversation of the oppressed, to get financial aid. i wasn't tall, i wasn't white, i wasn't rich, i wasn't athletic. in elementary school i never got picked for any of the softball or kickball teams. we'd sheepishly look at and kick our feet as the team captains would disgustedly say, "you can have the rest," or "we don't want them" and then we'd sort of just split up amongst ourselves and go to the outfield and never get a ball, or when one did approach, mess everything up by kicking it directly into the arms of the opposing team. it usually seemed like we were some sort of liability, that being there was literally worse than not being there at all.

i wasn't the smart kid, the loud kid, the brave kid. i was considered by some to be funny, but typically i'd just be so nervous and anxious that i'd freeze in the company of the popular kids. i was average and mediocre by most societal norms, and in a way i think i was oppressed and repressed to keep it that way. we were the model minority. we lived in the margins. we deferred to authority, we stayed out of everyone's way, we followed the rules, and we "thrived" relatively, because we didn't ruffle any of the feathers of the ruling class, which actually put us at odds with the serving class and we were seen as traitors.

i feel this even now, as an adult. i'm still not tall, white, rich, or attractive. i still move out of the way when someone approaches on the sidewalk. i will divert to another aisle at the market if it means avoiding some sort of awkward interaction. i bow to authority. i am awestruck by beauty. i just sort of snivel and scamper and stay out of everyone's way, and i've rarely felt any volition or ... or right to do anything else. i see myself as somewhat worthless and meaningless, and that my life doesn't matter, my actions don't matter, and ultimately nothing i do is of any consequence at all. i think that's why i steer clear of politics, of taking some sort of strong stance on social issues. i don't think my opinions matter. i don't think anything will change. i don't think my vote, or my signature on a petition, or my presence in a rally, will do anything. i don't think anyone, even those in "power" can change anything. i don't think anything can really be changed. we're just on a pretty set course to annihilation and all of our actions are moot. we just try to ease the suffering, laugh when we can, huddle close, and wait for death, and hope it will not be too bad.

what authority do i have? i guess i can stand up for whatever i think is "right." harriet tubman was a short lady. and she was not white. i don't think she was particularly well-read. but she had her convictions. what are my convictions? can i be brave? can i thwart the powers that i have felt have oppressed me?

i do want to stand up for those who are suffering. particularly LGBTQIA youth and those who feel like they can't come out. that's the only thing i've ever done with any conviction. to come out. it was that or die, and i wanted to live slightly more than i wanted to die, which is why i'm alive now. i want to help younger versions of me so they don't suffer as much as i did.

i also don't like to see physical suffering. i bought a bunch of sandals and washed a bunch of fleece blankets/throws so that i could hand them out to the homeless downtown when i saw them and thought they had a need. i understand there are wars and famines and crises all over the world, but i do not know if i can help. but i'd like to think a blanket will help on a cold day. that sandals are better than being barefoot. i'm thinking of bringing a can of butane after seeing an old asian homeless lady cooking on her little portable stove in her open tent, and figured she could probably use a refill.

i only work in small ways, but maybe because i feel so small myself. i wonder if i could do bigger things if i felt like i was allowed to, if i had the authority to. hm. food for thought.

oh also, i'm having this issue with airbnb where i wrote a review for this kinda asshole host and then airbnb took it down for "violating the terms" by not writing a review that described the situation or some shit, and then i got really indignant, reached out to customer service, and very sternly explained the situation and emphasized that i didn't want any monetary compensation or otherwise, i just wanted my review to stay up because it was accurate and it was true, and taking it down would really negate the whole point of reviews. and weirdly, that indignation, that commitment to fairness and justice and to declaring what was true actually distracted me from the despair over my latest obsession. righteous indignation won out over my sad puppy love. food for thought.

[driaswrld]

dria!!! hi how are you?? how was your day?? ♡

SO. in the new dynamic. i'd say i ship you with yuuji? honestly pretty much like the other anon said, you both kind of give the same emotional supportive vibe. plus i think you can sometimes be ,,,, a bit,,,,, unhinged?? (affectionate). while he's quite a baby so, yup.

also I DON'T KNOW WHY. but. but. choso too. don't ask me why, i just see it kay😭

btw!!! one of my friends (actually the one who introduced me to jjk) sent me this quiz? you might be interested???? hehe

https://uquiz.com/quiz/xFh5qI/which-jjk-character-would-you-realistically-end-up-with-adult-chars-only

-🫧

p.s: i just finished the spanish draft of my comments regarding your analysis🥺 i was quite busy today so i only sat down to write at 20:40/8:40 pm (it's currently 23:52/11:52 pm). sadly i could only write two pages and a half :(((( but i'll send it to your email rn!! (i said i'd finish today, and a promise is a promise. it might not be en english but i also promise it'll be ready in a few hours—). sigh.

my loveee hello !!

the unhinged part has me screaming i definitely take that as a compliment dw 😭 but choso? i am veryyy intrigued ab that lollol and tbh i could see it, maybe? maybeee? im not sure!

OMG the way i took the quiz and got geto lolol BUT i must say the descriptions were completely accurate and the quiz did me justice 🤭

ALSO OMGGGG i can't wait to see what you wrote! (im actually pulling an all nighter tonight so i'll be up to receive wtv it is you send dw)

(im having a movie night with my sister😭)

-yes, on a school night.

BUT i acc just saw the email notif so i'll look at your spanish vers (i bet it'll warm my heart omg) and then you can tell me when you've sent the english version so i can be sure to skim through that as well tonight <33

[libbytwq]

what if i cried im gonna scream im gonna explomde imbr gonnna fuwjfcking sobcjenfiwnfjicnwjdjnejJFNWJFIWBFJ

WHAT THE HECK???? WOAHG HUH WHATT HSBWBDJWNDNDJ IM NOT GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS I CANT I CANT EVEN IM GONNA PASS AWAY LIKE INSTANTLY

THIS IS SO NICEEE????? WHAT THE HELL

ITS ONE THING TO HAVE THE SILLY ART PIECE BUT ALL THE NICE WORDS FOR LIKE. EVERYBODY HERE??? IM GONNA LOSE MY MARBLES HOLY SHIT

the art is so so cool as always and im going crazy over it i STILL cant get over how you draw SMGL:E like THATS MY BABY!! THATS MY LIL FELLER. MY GREMLIN!! WAAA and not them using mango as an armrest,,, deserved BAHAHAHA /J /SILLY

OH YK WHAT?? YOU'RE GONNA BE SAPPY TOWARDS ME??? IM GONNA BE SAPPY TOWARDS YOU!!! WEEEE YOU CANT STOP ME MWAHAHAHAHA

(Im putting it under read more bc its gonna make this post a lot longer than it already is hsjdbenfj)

ok so when i was first like exploring around on the smg4 community back when i. like wasnt really part of it 100% (but made enough fanart to become recognizeable every once in a while hjsncjwn) i found your first lip bite comic. And i thought the artstyle was so pretty and awesome and incredible and the fact you made a silly comic for these silly gay mario recolors made me feel so happy and the art and stuff was so silly and so BOOP. FOLLOW!

eventually i discovered tsb (sometime back before you really revealed much lore of them) and i also discovered you had artfight! And since it was my first year on artfight, and artfight is a fantastic excuse for me to make fanart of other peoples OCs (which was rarely a thing i did cuz i was shy-) i decided id make a silly lil fanart of TSB just cuz :]

YOUR RESPONSE TO IT MADE ME EXPLODE AND PASS AWAY CUZ IT WAS SO NICE AND IT MADE ME GO. ABSOLUTELY. BONKERS. and then when you did a revenge with Libby i basically exploded like insantly. Like waking up in the morning i see the notif that i got an attack and seeing it was YOU?? and seeing Libby in your artstyle made me go absolutely bonkers, and IM STILL BONKERS OVER IT TO THIS DAY! WHY DO YOU THINK I STILL HAVE IT AS MY PFP BAHAHAHA

and then i kept seeing you reblogging my stuff more and more and you seemed super nice and cool and i cried whenever you reblogged with like a paragraph of nice words hjdnejfb

and lowkey??? You actually inspired me to make SMGL:E! i saw the silliness behind TSB and im like "yo hang on. That looks like a lot of fun i wanna do that too" so i made my own SMG4 OC! bahahaha,, part of me feels bad and feels like im subconsciously trying to be a copycat of you but i promise im not ;w; but i wont hesitate to say a lot of the things you make inspire me a lot

then i drew smgl:e and tsb together and i think that became the start of how we began to vibe more and more bahahah

tomm ur such an awesome person you are so much fun and an absolute joy to interact with in the server and out of it and a huge inspo and i look up to you a ton and everytime i see your stuff i squeal and kick my legs in the air you are absolutely awesome and im honored to be someone you look up to as much as i look up to you. keep doing what you're doing 🥲🥲🥲😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

im gonna go cry for the rest of the night now hdjwnfjwnfn

and so we are gathered here today, to hear TSB's horrible 1k sobbing {LONG}

well guys, it's been officially a week later since the end of the "birthday party" event. crazy it already flew by fast but formerly something i really wanted to say from the very start: thank you.

quite frankly i know i could've just made a simple thank you text as a normal person does, but i wanted to really to show my gratitude by giving something nice. and that something nice was the discord server until... my chaotic brain decided to make a daily week event inspired by scott cawthon UIGHJDSXUKGJH but otherwise- i hope everyone enjoyed tuning in everyday and i've personally been having a blast talking and hanging out with everyone since.

now, i got my secret final card up my sleeve that i've been wanting to do. was to give back something to some specific folks. amazing folks. folks that one: were my introduction to this amazing smg4 community, and two: friends i've made that has genuinely changed my life for the better, and three: been the greatest support i could've ever asked. it's still insane to me that i knew my life would be changed the moment i clicked on a youtube video of someone yapping about a specific blue and purple character from a gmod meme show and if they would work canonical. following up with me just 3 hrs later my first fanart doodle for myself. with just recently that moment being so happy i reached 100 followers on here... if you would've told me four months later that it'll exceedingly grow 10x i would laugh at you and walked away... you guys are insane in the best way possible it has scared me to death, but never have i done better improving my skills and mental health.

and with that, i give to thy, my absolute wholeheartedly appreciation:

@theartistisme43 you were the, if not one of, my first exposure to the community on twitter when i was looking for fanart on day one. i remember vividly being so captivated by your smg4 au by implementing sign language to your smg4 rigs. especially cause despite i've been meaning to relearn sign language for years, it has a special place in my heart for personal reasons. i remember being so obsessed with your animations replaying it again and again and adoring your art style so much. i've been {and still am} really shy expressing my feelings but seriously man i genuinely love your work so, so, SO much. it's still insane to me how you get the unfortunate rope under your feet by some nasty ass fools on twitter, but ong, they're just so jealous our your gmod rigging talent and storytelling. seriously man keep going!! always excited to see what you cooking up next! 💛

@ominus-potato + @bluestrawberrybunny adding you both together because ong it will feel weird to me if i didn't. of course, i am a fanfic addict once i get into a new fixation... and you two have been feeding me graciously. ominus, i love and get inspired by your fics SO MUCH it's insane to me how i'm alive after reading a new piece you've made /pos. you were also my introduction to marware and i've stayed since even if it was started of as a joke UIGHJV. strawberry i remember discovering you on artfight but exploded when i found out you were the creator of the apprenticeship au fic. i was shy to read it but i've been wanting to give you something before artfight started i finally caved in to the lore and my only regret is not getting into it sooner. i love both of ya'lls writing styles so much it's inspired me to genuinely get back into writing fanfics. thank you both so much and please continue writting!!!! i get so excited every now and again going to bed reading them. 💛🌈

@aquaproductions and speaking about artfight... yoU! i remember discovering you actually from trap sanchez's smg4 map BECAUSE THE AMOUNT OF TIMES I WAS PAUSING TO SEE EVERY PEICE TO THEN EXPLODE WHEN YOU SHOWED THEM AT THE END HIUGJHFEDS i LOVE you style so much and god when i got the message from you on artfight i actually fucking screamed. even getting that attacked for you has never once failed to make me smile. i've overcome it by now,, but i genuinely was really shy because you are just so cool and i'm still going crazy the fact your a fan of the boys LIKE BROOOOOOOOOO IUGHJDSXYUJ. ahem- anyways... kEEP BEING SLAY AQUA!!!!! 💛💕💛

@coralalala64 + @cookiepopcat ah yes another duo bc im trying to shorten this but cause you both played a similar role for me. you two, i kid you not, are the first folks i followed while joining the smg4 community. i am in love with your traditional work sm corala i am just obsessed with comics and seeing someone was making 34 comics just made me jump in glee. additionally i love the c r e a t u r e gag sO MUCH T&*YGUIHJK. cookie in general i adore your artstyle so much and especially how you add those little sparks on the hair GUHH ITS SO CUTEEEE!!! i became more of a bigger fan from your shark au and now a fan of ur new au with 3! so excited to see what you guys got cooking up next!!! 🌿💛

@zurkton i know we don't get the opportunity to talk much more but i seriously wanted to feature you in as my appreciation from the insane support you've been giving me. seeing your comments make me smile in glee and even a bonus seeing something new you make. i adore your gmod style of these silly mario recolors BUT SRSLY MAN UR OWN STYLE IS SO GOOD AND SEEING U MADE AN OC FINALLY GUH ITS BEEN IN MY TO DO LIST FOR SOOOOOOO LONG. JUST GUH I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH PLEASE CONTINUE BEING AWESOME AND I HOPE WE CAN GET MORE TIME TO BE ABLE TO YAP MORE!!! /GEN 💛🍳

@clownypillar oh yeah. you bet your buggy ass i added you on here. cause bRO i was surprised to find someone else who loves bugs it made my little me so happy. and i still have not gotten over that smg4 cult of the lamb au you made since, i love that game sm seeing that on my feed just made me immediately become a fan. doesn't help the fact blue/silas says really amazing and silly things about you in our talks i was so shy finding the right opportunity to try and talk to you qnq,, and when the opportunity did come up {bot issue} I GOT EVEN MORE NERVOUS IHKJFEGDSXUGJH /POS i love your humor sm man you are so fun and i apologize silas has gotten you under the theory trap sigh... but other than that i need to get back into my retired bug fixation and find more ways to make fun of you as we yap and appreciate dr pepper 💛🌈🥤🐛

@libbytwq i still remember the day i got that tsb piece from you on artfight and literally screaming and running around my room in glee seeing my silly man in a silly looney pose. seriously man, ever since i saw that i immediately became a fan of you. i just am a sucker for your style man /srs. hECK i remember struggling so hard to pICK someone to fight back bc i genuinely loved all your ocs and wanted to do everyone- i also find it sO funny and ig coincidental theres so many like coincidences with you??? ong i need to say this or im going to continue going crazy- like ong libby {oc} reminds me one of my trusted friends oc and brings me back to my 2016 nostalgia days, i actually have an oc name lore who has a similar hair style as smgl:e, AND THE FACT WITH OUR SMG4 OCS LORE SIMILARITIES LIKE BRO WE LIVE IN A MATRIX OR SOME SHIT THIS MAKES MY BRAIN EXPLODE AAAAAIOYUIGHJEFDSXZ /J but in all seriousness bro, i love talking with you and seeing your silly work so much. i know you're gonna be makin awesome things bro and you bETTER WIN THOSE MARCHING BAND COMPETITIONS IUGJHEDS 👑🍔🌈💛

@its-a-me-mango mango mango mango... YOU BRITISH FREAK- anyways. you seriously were one of my favorite artist when i joined and ngl i was absolutely terrified talking to you to the point i legit thought you hated me at some point IOKJEHFDWS heCk getting that attack from you on artfight blew my fucking mind bc i was screaming over the tari duck since af was the only place i dropped the tari love interest and i didnt realized it until i looked at your page that you were THE MANGO... bro i actually fucking exploded you have no fucking idea how happy i was 🌈. like you are one srsly one of my favorite inspirations man i love your artwork, your humor, and just everything man. i'm still going internally insane that im talking to you sm bro and the memes we mAKE BRO IM UYIGJHFDWSXZYUITJG THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH A SILLY MANGO HORSE DOCTOR DUDE, YOU ARE SO COOL, INCREDIBLE, AND MAN WHERE IS THAT SNOWTRAPPED 1K YOU PROMISED /J i could go on a bit more but im literally exploding just writing this rn so now imma just lalalalalalalala 🍔💛🌈🥭🐴

@josiekatxd / josiekatxd jo. you are one insane creature /pos. LIKE DAMN MAN YOU DRAW SO FAST IT WAS WILD GETTING ALL THE AMAZING TSB GIFTS AND GETTING TO KNOW MORE OF UR OC 7 JUST BECAME A MORE JOYOUS RIDE!!!! i love your work so much man and the amount of support i've gotten from you makes me so so SOOSOSOSOS HAPPY ITS OVERWHELMING /POS. i enjoy talking with you man {even if i may be slow at timess..} pLEASE dont be afraid to send me smth, more yummy art or MEMEMSSSSS i appreciate anything and everything!!! this was honestly such a joy getting to draw 7 again she's been stuck in my head for so long hELPPP /SILLY 🌿⭐️💛

@rr3d2y AKO!!!!! YOU!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY MAN EVER SINCE THAT ATTACK YOU MADE FOR ME FROM ARTFIGHT I HAVE BEEN A DIEHARD FAN SINCE. I WENT ABSOLUTELY INSANE OVER IT SO MUCH I HAD TO SHARE IT WITH MY IRL FRIENDS IT MADE ME SO HAPPY. EVEN MORE HOW YOU ACTUALLY IMPLEMENT MY INTERESTS EVERY TIME YOU ATTACKED??? LIKE HELLOOOO??????? AND DAWKO??????? AND JUST UR OC IN GENERAL I LOVE HER SO MUCH BROOOO IUYGJHEFWDCSXZUYHKJ EDWSHJDCS LIKE DUDE I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH I COULD WRITE A FULLBLOWN ESSAY UNTIL YOU BARGED IN WITH YUMMY ART EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU SPOIL ME SO MUCH AKO YOU ARE INSANELY INCREDIBLE AND SUCH A JOY TO TALK TO AND BE SILLY WITH. IT MADE ME SO HAPPY TO FIND SOMEONE WHO SHARES MY INTERESTS FROM THE START AND I STILL GO CRAZY EVERY TIME ANY OF IT IS MENTIONED. WHETER ITS SMG4, DAWKO, CG5, FAIRYOFFPARENTS, SONIC, WOLVERINE UYIGJHEFDSCXUIGJH IT ALL MAKES ME JUMP UP AND DOWN KICKING MY FEET MAN. I MEAN IT WHEN I SAY IM A BIG FAN AKO. I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE 1 MILLION PERCENT AND ADORE YOUR SUPPORT SO MUCH. THANK YOU AKO THE GREAT!!!! LIFETIME SUPPLY OF CHOCOLATE MILK FOR YOU!!!!!!! 🍫🥛💛🌈🍔💕

@radiantrevolt i know your not in the smg4 community whatsoever let alone know anything but i srsly meant it that receiving your support was such a big deal to me man. i never expected you to join the server but it genuinely made me feel more secure knowing i got you right my side just like old times. your support means the world to me man even if i suck as explaining or expressing that. you genuinely mean a lot to me man and the fact your still sticking around if still mind boggling to me evermore. thank you ander for staying by my side and willing to do so even at a space your unfamiliar with. being able to talk to you again has been such a joyride 💛💛💛💛🌈🐈‍⬛

and lastly...

these two freaks...

@strange0-0storm + @bluesbox... honestly... i owe you two a lot. genuinely. storm i remember you specifically when i first started acknowledging the smg4 community bc of how recognizable smg8 was on tumblr and immediately finding you to be so cool. so cool in fact, I WAS TOO SHY TO INTERACT TYIGHJFEDS. i LOVE smg8 so much and getting to see your other ocs such as jessee, cold cash, spamton... 8YIUGFEDSU J ITS JUST SO COOL AND HOLY FUCK MAN I LOVE YOUR ART SO FUCKING MUCH. I AM STILL FUCKING OBSESSED WITH THE TSB PIECE FROM ARTFIGHT MAN VDCXZUYJHGF ITS JUST SO PERFECT I CAN GO FUKING GO OFF AGAIN IHUGFJEDS but in all seriousness man, thank you so much for having the courage to respond to my lipbite comic, to me having the courage to follow you back and interact with you more, to giving me the courage again to join ur server, and the courage to say yes to watching popee with you and silas. finn you have no idea how much your silly words have an impact on me you make me so nervous in the most positive silliest way you have no idea how genuine happy i was being in that call for the very first time. even tho i know how quiet and anxious i was from the start, it was cause i was so shy and nervous bc man it was you! YOU!!!! you're such a fucking awesome guy finn i want you to seriously never forget that!!!! silas, thank you for even talking to me. hell, even after finn left to sleep we stayed and yapped for few more hours. i was never expecting that outcome ever in my life due to past experiences, and im so glad to the earth and back that it did come out as it did. i love talking to you man, i love seeing your work so much, and adore and appreciate to the fullest all the gifts you made me. thank you even more for getting me into the great gatsby and returning my hidden sherlock fixation back to light. i appreciate it way more that i can ever express it man. whether it may us talking about our day, silly nonsense, or me bullying you /j, it makes me so happy. and so grateful i can call you and finn my friends. you guys seriously helped me get out of my darkest angst shell i've had caged inside myself for the past, i didnt think i would ever escape from let alone actually be able to heal from. i didn't think i could ever be the happy ever again. like guys, i look forward to every week getting to get on a call with you guys so much its honestly my favorite activity/event of the week. i know im just silly guy i don't ever show my sappy self ever to ya'll but i mean it wholeheartedly ya'll helped me out so much more than you guys could ever imagine. i love you both so much i just wanna pick you two up and throw you into a canon so we could all go to disney world together and be just be silly. thank you finn, thank you silas 💛🤍💙🍔🍟🥤

i could honestly continue yapping but i was not expecting this to take longer than i was originally expecting so imma just end it here for now. i do want to thank everyone in the smg4 community for your continuous support. the amount of appreciation and love i get is still insane for me to grasp and i adore every single piece of giftart i've ever received. never did i expect to grow this big let alone meet such incredible and talented people ever in my life. i genuinely love all of you guys. thank you so much and onwards to more silliness!!! 🍔🌈 ⛅️🌿

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

i his name on tweet and haven't seen any hate towards him or his character. i saw some of his fans talking about it but no actual hate, unless they're not making posts using his name. i'm really curious how did we set him up tho

If he actually is getting attacked, it might be like you said they aren't using his name. Usually when you talk about celebrities but don't want their fans to find you and make a mess in your notifications you just say like their initials so people who it is but their fans don't find it when they search their names. Or it's what I saw a lot, they call him the guy who looks like Evan Peters, wannabe Evan Peters 😂 The amount of tweet that I've seen talking about Jack but only using Evan's name is hilarious to me. That's probably why his fans are mad. Most people don't even know his name. They know him but not his name. Which long term can be annoying for him, if it won't change. Cuz no one wants to be known as other actors wannabe., but in my humble opinion I don't think Jack is going far in the Hollywood so no worries about that 😂😂 No offense to the kid, he's got the small hype now because of Avatar and Scream but social media like to pick their white boys if the month and forget about them when they find a new one. It was Evan too when Dahmer came out but the difference is, Evan isn't a new actor that people just found out about.

!!

[lovecanyon]

Curious Gazes: The 79th Venice International Film Festival featuring Dad!Harry

venice looks!

harry_lambert wants to message you!

A gasp left Chiara’s mouth as she stared down at her phone. The notification must have been a glitch, apps glitch all the time…right? Why would one of the most important stylists message her? All her worrying had her nibbling on her lip nervously.

She had to find out what he wanted. Swiftly her thumb swiped to accept the DM to reveal Harry Lambert’s message to her. Her heart leaped out of her chest once she saw three long paragraphs on her screen.

Dropping out of college to become a freelance makeup artist wasn’t something she planned on doing. Being in debt over school had her worrying about every little thing so she ended up quitting her third year at NYU.

Her parents did not take it well at first but over the years they’ve learned to support her makeup artist job, thankfully.

“Holy…sh—“

The blonde slaps her hand over her mouth as she continues to read the messages over and over to check if her eyes are deceiving her. Why would someone this important want to work with her? Even his client wanted to work with her…wait who was his client anyway?

In a hurry she taps to get onto Harry Lambert's Instagram page but her shitty Wi-Fi stops her.

With a groan Chiara stands up frustratedly and starts to walk in circles. Before giving up on her Wi-Fi she stubs her toe, stuffs her face with marshmallows and even makes crappy popcorn on her stove.

When her internet goes out she either falls asleep and prays it will be back on when she wakes up or she uses her neighbor's Wi-Fi. She would’ve used her neighbors connection but they’ve already yelled at her countless times for slowing down their internet.

So the most sane thing to do was go to a cafe and use up all their free Wi-Fi.

Harry Styles, Florence Pugh, Emma Louise Corrin, Alexander Skarsgård and even Y/N L/N. She almost let out screams at each picture of the celebrities and had to remember she was in a cafe full of people. Swiping back to her direct messages she clicks on the most recent one that had her in shambles.

Hii Chiara I’m Harry Lambert and I was wondering if you are free the first week of September? Me and my client would love to work with you…

Too jittery to read everything the hundredth time, her shaky hands type out a response. It took her about 20 tries to type a decent message without making it seem like she’s freaking out—which she still was doing.

Once she hit send, she shoved her phone in her back pocket apprehensively and rushed out of the cafe nervously. It felt like she was in highschool and just sent a risky text.

Instead on waiting on a message, Chiara does a bunch of things to distract her but nothing could take her mind off of Harry fucking Lambert messaging her.

While her hands were covered in clay and thinking about the business opportunity she may have, she felt a buzz in her back pocket. Almost instantly she shoots up from her seat and turns off the pottery machine. Everyone else in the room was too busy to notice a blonde rushing out of the building with a towel wrapped around her hands.

“Yes!”

She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Harry Lambert just gave her his and Alessandro Michele’s phone numbers for confirmation. The amount of excitement she felt was insane, never in her 22 years of life has she felt this giddy. Everything was finally turning good for her.

-

If you would’ve told her she would be getting on a private jet with Harry Styles and Y/N L/N, Chiara would’ve laughed in your face. But watching Y/N L/N and Harry Styles help their children out of their Range Rover through the jet window had her mouth hanging open in shock.

First of all she would’ve been fine with a regular plane ticket, yet Harry Lambert told her Y/N and Harry insisted on having her join their plane ride to Venice.

Oh yeah…she was going to Venice precisely to do Y/N’s makeup for The Venice Film Festival. She absolutely lost her shit of course. She never imagined doing someone’s makeup for one of the most prominent film festival’s yet here she was sitting on a jet seat.

While people were still boarding—none of them being the acclaimed couple—Chiara recognized some as the people that were on Y/N’s social media feed, she knew one of the guys sporting a backpack was Harry’s manager and the other being his photographer, Anthony.

She didn’t know how she was going to handle this for two whole days, hopefully she wouldn’t weird anyone out with her talkative persona.

“Excuse me Ms?”

The makeup artist looks up to find a flight attendant beaming down at her. As the blonde was going to give the air hostess a smile, she stopped herself.

Her eyes widened recognizing the person standing in front of her. Out of all people, why did her high school tormenter have to be Harry Styles’ stewardess. The girl that tortured her every single day when she was a teenager was stood right in front of her face.

The only thing she wished to do at this moment was disappear but she couldn’t, her body stayed put in the jet seat.

“Julie?” Chiara furrows her brows trying to sport the nicest smile ever. She didn’t know why her mind was telling her to play nice, she just hoped that ‘Julie’ or ‘Julia Calloway’ changed for the better. Yet she knew that wasn’t true once she saw a sour look crawl onto Julie’s face, the same sour look she saw everyday in school.

As the stewardess was about to respond to the makeup artist a bunch of people started to talk. Both of their attention swiftly diverted to the couple making their way inside the jet with their children.

It was like their prayers had been answered.

“Uh I got to go!” Julie says rushing away, not waiting for the blonde's response.

Chiara lets out a sigh of relief as she watches the air hostess greet Harry’s manager Jeffrey and Harry Lambert. The amount of industry people getting on the jet made her palms sweat. She had to hold her breath at Alessandro Michele revealing himself behind Tommy. The creative director of Gucci was here—she was in the presence of the creative director of Gucci.

But the next individuals made her freeze in her chair.

One Direction was big in her childhood. She always regretted not going to their concerts before they broke up and went solo. Though she knew going to their shows didn’t compare to being in the same vicinity as Harry Styles. This felt very unreal to her.

Harry had his arm wrapped around Y/N’s waist while his other arm held up a carrier—who Chiara assumed held their daughter Inez. A little boy stood in front of the couple and quickly darted to one of the jet seats followed by his backpack dragging behind him.

He must’ve been Beau since he looked exactly like Harry, he truly was his twin like everyone said. It felt illegal looking at his son without a strawberry emoji covering his face.

The makeup artist didn’t expect to get greeted by the mother but she did and it made her shoot up from her chair. She didn’t want to be rude to the person that offered to take her on their private jet with them.

“Chiara right?” Y/N smiles as she glances at Harry placing down the carrier on a seat next to Beau.

“U-uh yes! That is me.” Chaira says enthusiastically and quickly regrets her peppy tone but the woman standing in front of her just smiled brightly. “Sorry for being this excited at six thirty in the morning—“

“Hey, no it’s fine!” Y/N reassures the blonde which makes her grin. “Harry is a morning person so I’m used to it.”

Just as Chiara was going to speak, a loud cry came from the carrier. Harry, who looked stressed out—and definitely not like a morning person—swiftly picked up his daughter. Looking at Chiara, Y/N nods politely and excuses herself to the row across from her. Almost instantly she swoops up Inez in her arms which quiets her cries. Just the way her daughter stopped crying when she picked her up showed how she was such a good mother.

If Chiara even held a baby or got near one they would cry. Y/N had amazing mother abilities.

With people still getting situated on the jet, the blonde tries not to stare at the couple keeping their children entertained with a few stuffed animals and coloring books. She knew both Inez and Beau were going to grow up beautifully, they had great parents that would do anything for them.

Even though she hasn't greeted Harry yet, she was aware of him being one of the nicest celebrities ever.

Watching Harry and Y/N’s team get everything into place before takeoff was interesting. Jeff looked excited as he kept talking to Lambert about the couples outfits, Tommy was typing away on his phone most likely making sure everything was together when they arrived to Venice, Alessandro moved to sit with the beloved couple and their kids—which almost made Chiara scream—and Anthony was taking pictures of the morning sunset through the plane’s window.

This team went together perfectly.

As everyone was in their own conversations, Chiara noticed Julie looking at her with squinted eyes. Though before anything happens, the pilot announces takeoff and requests everyone to shut off their devices. Once she turns off her phone she looks up to find the stewardess gone. Letting out a sigh of relief, she lays her head back on the seat and decides to take a nap to avoid her tormentor.

It was just her luck.

-

The jet jolting made Chiara curse under her breath. She didn’t know why she was tired for some reason. Hopefully she could sleep more before—

“And we have arrived in Venice. Enjoy your stay folks.”

Shit.

Looking around, Chiara finds everybody grabbing ahold of their items, most likely getting ready to leave the plane. In the corner of her eye she sees Jeff and Tommy move forward to help Harry and Y/N with their luggage.

Right as she was going to pull out her suitcase, she sees a bunch of security making their way out of the airport and to the jet. About seven or eight men stood by the stairs of the plane, patiently waiting for the next celebrities they needed to guard.

Just the way Harry, Y/N and their kids needed that much security made her suck in a breath. Tomorrow was definitely going to be hectic.

Now with her suitcase in hand, the makeup artist stands up and waits for everyone to make their way out of the plane. As she stands by waiting, she makes eye contact with the person who she was dreading the most. She didn’t know what the red head was up to—hopefully she wasn’t up to anything.

Quickly looking away from her, Chiara makes her way to the woman that gave her this job and offers Y/N if she needs any help with anything. But before she could respond, Harry butts in with a shake of his head.

“It’s fine I got it. Thank you though.” Harry tells her, smiling. As he was about to walk down the aisle, he quickly rushed back and grabbed Y/N’s tote bag that was clearly holding a lot of things. That action made her kiss his cheek before he rushed off with Jeffrey and Lambert.

“Sorry that Harry hasn’t formally introduced himself. He’s really jittery and worried about the whole red carpet situation.” Y/N softly smiles at her hired makeup artist.

Red carpet situation?

“Sorry to ask but…red carpet situation?”

She could tell Y/N was hesitant to answer and that made her nervous, yet the woman walking up behind the mother of two made her heart beat—even more faster than it already was. Not wanting to talk to the flight attendant, she quickly dismisses herself to Y/N and tells her she will see her when they get off the jet. Once she receives a smile and a nod she races down the aisle.

She’s not going to put herself through hell, again.

With the help of another flight attendant, Chiara makes it on concrete with her suitcase. Moving to stand next to Lambert, she watches Harry race back inside the jet.

“Amazing, huh?”

Turning her head, she finds Alessandro Michele staring down at her. Being under his stare made her want to cry and run away but she stayed put and nodded. How does one talk to the creative director of Gucci?

“Yes. I can’t believe this is still happening.” She says with a smile. “I’m so honored to be apart of this team.”

“Well get used to it. Y/N seriously adores you which means you might be permanently apart of her and Harry’s team.” Alessandro playfully nudges her, making her smile grow.

For about fifteen minutes she stands there with the biggest grin ever, Harry however now appears at the top of the stairs with Beau in his hold and a small backpack—most likely Beau’s—slung over his shoulder. Before making his way down the jet stairs, he glances back at someone who turns out to be Y/N holding their daughter. She gives him a smile which makes him begin to walk down the airstairs with his son in his grasp.

As they make it to the last step, Chiara realizes the couple changed their outfits including Beau and Inez.

Harry now had a deep purple blazer over the green/pink Gucci cardigan he already was wearing beforehand and blue jeans instead of the grey sweats he previously had on. Rather than the Love on Tour hoodie and biker shorts, Y/N now was dressed in a purple sundress that had an open back and switched up her Adidas for a pair of white sandals.

What Inez and Beau had on almost made the makeup artist awe out loud. Both were in purple like their parents but Inez had on this ruffle dress that had her fingers playing with the fabric and Beau wore these white trousers paired with a shirt that had a flower printed on it.

“Cutest family ever!”

“Bellissima!”

-

“Please come, I really want you there.”

“I really don’t want to sit in a room full of reporters and paparazzi.” Y/N pouts playfully making Harry breathe out a laugh. “I will be here once you get back. I promise.”

Harry sits on his knees for a couple more seconds before nodding slowly. Standing up, he slightly bends down and places a kiss on Y/N’s forehead.

“Alright darling. I’ll see you when I get back.” Harry smiles nodding at his fiancé. Once Lambert opens the door, Jeffrey walks out of the hotel room followed by Tommy, Anthony and of course Harry. Yet he stops himself in the doorway, blowing Y/N and his children a kiss before getting pushed out by his stylist.

Chiara smiled at the couple's interaction. They both were so cute together that it made her wish she had a relationship like theirs. She had read about the two being each other’s soulmates and thought it was all bullshit—since every celebrity couple broke up within 10 years. But there was something about Harry and Y/N that just proved they were going to be together forever.

As Y/N moves to the bed where her children were watching a Disney movie on her iPad, Chiara decides to start unpacking her makeup supplies. Being in a room alone with Y/N soon to be Styles and her kids made her anxious—though after Alessandro words from yesterday repeated in her head, she realized she had nothing really to worry about.

The amount of products the makeup artist brought was insane but she wanted to be prepared for any look that Y/N wanted. Doing an A List celebrity’s makeup for one of the most prestigious movie festivals made her bite her lip trying to hide her excitement.

“I’m almost done setting up the station, I just need to go grab your clothes from Alessandro’s room.” Chiara turns to the mother looking down at her children with a smile.

“No need getting the clothes from his room, I’ll have Harry pick them up on the way back.” Y/N softly shakes her head which makes Chiara’s tense shoulders drop. This Y/N woman was amazing. The majority of the people she worked with were just plain rude to her. Yet here Y/N was giving her fiancé the tasks that were given to the makeup artist.

“Thank you, seriously. I don’t even know where the room is.” She smiles making Y/N laugh.

-

Right when the tv lights up with the press conference, both Y/N and Chiara get situated on the couch while Beau and Inez stay seated on the bed, playing with their stuffed animals. The blonde was still surprised when Y/N asked if she wanted to watch the conference with her.

The cast one by one gets introduced as they walk in. Chiara notices a small grin on Y/N's face when Harry nods and waves. She yearned for a relationship like theirs.

“Look at daddy guys!” Y/N points to the screen which makes Beau smile. He whispers something quickly to his sister making her look up to the tv. The amount of features they got from Harry was baffling. Green eyes, dimpled smile and curly haired all reminded the makeup artist of their father. You could immediately tell they were apart of the Styles family.

It was cute the way the two siblings interacted. Most famous children acted like brats which she hated to admit, but it was the truth. Beau had even greeted her and the team the first minute he walked in with his parents and sister. He had way better manners than most adults and that said a lot.

As the press conference continues on, Y/N and Chiara’s stay seated on the couch watching the cast answer questions. The blonde sat beside the mother of two could tell she was growing annoyed at the questions being asked—specifically to Harry.

Where is your fiancé?

How does Y/N feel about the sexual scenes in the movie?

Is your fiancé pregnant again?

When are you both getting married, have you set an official date?

Now Chiara understood why Y/N didn’t want to attend the press conference with Jeffrey. The press was truly invasive.

“Shit. I don’t know how we’re gonna bring Bee and Nez.” Y/N mumbles to herself standing up. With furrowed brows the makeup artist stops herself from asking anything. Maybe that was the red carpet circumstance she tried to bring up earlier. “I don’t think you know about the whole situation for the red carpet…Do you?”

“I think you were trying to tell me yesterday but we both got interrupted.” She shakes her head making Y/N nod.

“Well, H and I decided to take Inez and Beau to the premiere with us. But I’m afraid of how paparazzi and fans will react.” Y/N sighs leaning back onto the couch arm. Chiara widened her eyes at that news. The Styles children had their identities hidden ever since they were born and them making a debut at the premiere sounded surprising—very surprising.

The blonde felt for the mother. She must’ve been so stressed about bringing them to the film festival with her and Harry. The amount of press, fans and paparazzi probably had her nervous about the whole situation.

“I think it’s going to be fine.” Chiara reassures Y/N. “Harry is really protective over you three.”

“That he definitely is.” Y/N smiles glancing at Beau bonding with Inez. She just needed to be reassured by Harry that it was all going to go well. Bringing their children to a red carpet event had her palms sweating. But attending the premiere with Harry calmed her nerves because she knew he would protect her and the kids, like he always has done.

Nobody really knew about Beau and Inez attending since Harry called it top secret. Not even the makeup artist on the team knew until Y/N told her just a few minutes ago. This was definitely going to be a surprise to everyone.

Once the conference ends, Y/N decides to start getting ready since the premiere was happening in less than two hours.

With Inez in her lap and Beau distracted by a Disney movie playing on the television, Y/N discusses a bunch of makeup looks with Chiara. Going through the makeup artist’s camera roll had the mother wanting to do about ten different makeup looks all at once. Finally, after about changing their mind multiple times, they both settle on a 60s inspired look

Sharon Tate’s iconic eyeliner was the inspiration for the look and Chiara couldn’t be more excited.

-

Watching Y/N swipe pink and blue glittery eyeshadow on Beau’s eyelids was the most adorable thing ever. When the little voice interrupted Chiara doing Y/N’s makeup and asked if he could wear makeup too, it made her heart melt. So of course Y/N traded her seat for the floor and let her son take her seat with his sister.

Now with a giggly Inez leaning against her brother’s chest, their mother hovers over them with an eyeshadow brush while Chiara stands next to her holding about five different eye shadow palettes.

The makeup artist loved the way Y/N let Beau express himself especially as a child. She was just an overall amazing mother.

“Hmmm…more pink.” Beau lisps looking at the mirror Y/N was holding up for him. She smiles nodding, dipping the eyeshadow brush in the pallet Chiara was holding up for her. Adding more pink color to Beau’s eyelids had Y/N grinning like a proud mother.

“You look so handsome, my love!” The mother says making Beau beam.

Just as Y/N stood up, the hotel room door opens revealing Harry dragging a rack of clothes followed by his team. The sight made Chiara’s eyes widen. Y/N actually told him to get the clothes she was supposed to get. Y/N truly was a godsend.

With the help of their mother, Beau and Inez quickly jump down from the chair and rush to their father. Almost instantly Harry drops down to his knees and holds open his arms. Once the two children were in his hold, a huge smile grew on Harry’s face. You could tell he loved and adored his children. Just the way he dropped everything to hug them was so cute.

“Oh! I love your makeup Bee.” Harry smiles lovingly which makes Beau grin ear to ear.

“Mama did it!” The Styles child says making Harry look up and make eye contact with his fiancé. Y/N bites her lip suppressing a smile.

“Mama is just the best right?!” Harry giggles ruffling his son's blonde hair. Beau nods agreeing with his father. The makeup artist almost let out an awe at the moment. Both boys were so appreciative of Y/N, it was the sweetest thing ever. “And look at this little cutie in her pink robe.”

“Gucci!” Inez’s high pitched voice shouts. Y/N laughs shaking her head, Harry just had to teach their daughter how to say Gucci.

“Yes, darling!” Lambert cheers as he unwraps the plastic that protected the clothes hanging on the rack. Chiara loved this environment. It was the most positive space ever.

As everyone begins to get ready for the premiere—Y/N continues to get ready. Clothes are starting to be laid out, Anthony is rearranging all the cameras he was going to take and Jeff makes sure everything is in order before the time arrives for the event. Everything seemed amazing in Chiara’s opinion.

While Y/N finishes getting her makeup done, Harry is sitting right by her legs playing with their children. The amount of stuffed animals the two brought overseas was insanely cute. Watching the family interact genuinely made a smile appear on the makeup artist’s face. Their type of bond was the strongest ever, not like those types of celebrity families that just acted like a fake family in front of cameras.

Just as Chiara is finishing up the makeup look she notices Harry’s hand laid on Y/N’s thigh as she messes around with his rings—including his extravagant engagement ring. The couple’s sweet little gestures made the blonde believe in the word love again.

-

“Baby could you help me put my gloves on?”

Chirara widened her eyes at Y/N walking in the room with both children perched on her hip. She looked stunning in her blue gown, so stunning that it made Harry stand there with his mouth slightly ajar. The makeup artist couldn’t blame him though. Y/N took her breath away too.

“Yes, darling.” Harry smiles helping her place their two already dressed kids on the couch. Once the parents made sure Beau and Inez had nothing around them that could dirty their pretty outfits, Harry grabbed the gloves hanging from the rack. Chiara quickly recognized the blue suit Harry had on was the same suit Beau was wearing and the gown Y/N wore was the same as Inez’s gown.

They were all matching—the father and son were matching and the mother and daughter were matching. That was just so fucking cute.

Watching Harry help Y/N put her gloves on was the sweetest thing ever. He would look up at her to make sure he wasn’t hurting her and when she would nod, encouraging him to continue he just smiled. It was just the little things that had Chiara wishing she had a relationship like theirs.

After Y/N has the blue fabric on her arms, she and Harry then switch to put Inez’s gloves on. The smiley baby showcasing her gums had no clue what her parents were rolling on her arms and she did not seem to care. Once the blue gloves are on Nez’s chubby arms, Harry slobbers a kiss on her cheek which makes her giggle.

Right as Jeff announced the boat was waiting for the couple and their children, Harry bends down onto his knees—which makes Lambert suck in a breath—grabbing Y/N’s blue heels and slips them on her feet.

That action had Chiara’s mouth drop. Y/N didn’t even ask him to put her heels on. Nobody was a gentleman like Harry was. He treated his fiancé and kids so well.

Beau jumping around in the same shoes Harry had on—white boots with a red heart printed on the side of them—looked adorable. The little boy definitely was a clone of his father’s. The curly hair, green eyes and dimpled smile was all from Harry.

“Let’s take a quick shot of you guys!”

Anthony holds out his camera as Y/N and Harry pose for the photo with Beau and Inez in their grasp. When Anthony gets about a dozen pictures of the family, everyone begins to get ready to leave. Before he makes his way out of the hotel room, Harry whispers to his photographer to send him all the photos he took.

Now walking out of the hotel room and into the elevator with everyone had Chiara’s nerves growing. She couldn’t imagine how Harry and Y/N were feeling.

It takes a few seconds to get to the lobby and once those lift doors open, the couple holding their children walk out followed by the team. Ironically the hotel had a distance to The Venice Film Festival which meant they had to take a boat and then a car to get to the prominent event.

And it didn’t help the fact that they were about twenty minutes late.

-

“They said he’s not coming.”

Ludo widens her eyes as she slips her phone in her back pocket. Leaning on the barricade railing she replies to her friend. Harry Styles was not coming to his own premiere?

“I hope he does.” Ludo says glancing back at the red carpet that has the cast of Don’t Worry Darling circling it. The amount of people that were behind the barricade were waiting for the familiar musician. Yet there have been rumors of him not going to attend.

Just as she was hearing whispers about Harry not showing, a car pulled up to the red carpet. Even though it could be literally anyone, people began to scream their heads off. Right as the car doors open revealing the person everyone waiting for, the screams multiply and grow louder. This was the moment Ludo was here for.

Though, watching Harry round the car and opening the opposite vehicle door made her confused as well as everyone else. People in the crowd began to murmur about what he could be doing.

But once the crowd saw a child in his arms, they all began screaming more than they did before. Yet nothing could’ve prepared Ludo for this next moment. A hand grabs onto Harry’s as he helps them get out of the car, when the teenage girl saw who was wearing the blue gown and platform heels, she gasps covering her mouth with her hand.

Y/N L/N was holding her daughter Inez who was wearing the same gown she was. Seeing the mother and daughter duo matching made Ludo let out an awe. Even Harry and his son were matching!

With an arm wrapped around her waist, Harry and Y/N began to walk down the red carpet with their children. It was insane seeing the Styles children faces without a fruit emoji covering their identity. Ludo was in shock at the way Beau looked exactly like Harry. The little boy had the same green eyes and smile—they even had the same dimples. It was the most adorable thing ever.

Inez too! Even though she was still a baby, she carried a lot of Harry’s features like her big brother did.

“Is Beau wearing eyeshadow?” Someone cries from the crowd. That sentence made everyone began to scream all over again. Looking at the Styles' child with squinted eyes made her realize he was actually wearing pink and blue eyeshadow—sparkly eyeshadow. He looked so cute wearing the bright colors on his eyelids.

As Harry puts down Beau, Y/N puts Inez in his arms after she was making grabby hands towards him. Now holding her son's hand, Y/N follows Harry further down the red carpet where the cast was hanging out.

The amount of camera flashes going off was crazy. Paparazzi were trying to get every angle of the Styles family as well as fans.

Everyone begins to smile and laugh at Inez grabbing Harry’s sunglasses off his face and attempting to put them on herself with her chubby little hands. The musician grins helping his daughter slip on his pair of Gucci sunglasses. Watching the two interact was literally the sweetest thing ever. Even though they had cameras on them, the Styles family seemed to be in their own little world.

Now with sunglasses covering up the majority of her face, Inez gives a gummy grin to Harry which makes the cameras go off wanting to catch the father and daughter moment.

As Harry and Y/N finish taking photos with their children, the four of them begin to get interviewed. Even though Ludo couldn’t hear anything, she could just tell Harry was so happy, giggling over something Y/N was saying. They looked so content with each other.

She had read online about the two being such an amazing couple and seeing them in person just supported that statement. Watching the Styles family interact was literally the most wholesome thing ever.

After their quick interview, Ludo notices Harry’s manager guiding them to the cast ready to take photos.

Y/N tries to walk away with the children but Harry’s arm wrapping around her waist stops her. He whispers something in her ear and points at the cast. Even though the couple and two children already walked down the red carpet, they were going to be in the cast photos—even when they weren’t apart of the Don't Worry Darling cast.

Looking at Y/N greet Florence was the best thing ever. Both of the women looked so excited when they saw each other. The gleam in their eyes as they complemented each other was seriously the cutest thing ever. And when the blonde saw the Styles children her smile widened.

Ludo could see Florence shout oh my god before picking up a giggly Beau. The boy smiles, wrapping his arms around Flo’s shoulders. They both laugh about something together which makes the cameras go off, once again.

The cast now began to get situated to take the final photos of the day. Florence had Beau in her arms as she stood next to Y/N who had Inez in her arms also. Harry went to rewrap his arm around his fiancés waist as he swiftly kissed her cheek which made a smile grow on her face.

The Styles family was truly admirable, everyone loved them.

-

Luna didn’t know why she decided to work for a partying catering service. It was always the rich assholes throwing parties and treating their servers like crap. But if you wanted to get paid on time and earn tips, you just had to smile and nod at whatever people said.

Nonetheless she didn’t expect Y/N L/N to throw her fiancé, Harry goddamn Styles a party to celebrate his new movie that’s coming out quite soon.

She had known Y/N was the most beautiful woman ever and seeing her in person made her mouth go dry. The black dress she was in hugged her body perfectly—and her heels, her heels were to die for. Everything about her just seemed perfect.

Watching Harry and Y/N walk in with friends had Luna’s palms sweating. She literally just went to his shows a few months ago and owned a bunch of his merch. Is she a fan? Of fucking course she is. That’s why she had to go into the kitchen to quietly freak out.

Once she’s calm and collected, she grabs her server plate and heads to the bar. Passing by celebrities seemed insane to Luna. Alessandro Michele, Gemma Chan, Chris Pine and even Florence Pugh had her sucking in her breath. This wasn’t like the old money parties rich men usually threw, this was a celebrity party and it made her more nervous than anything.

A loud childish scream makes her glance up from the drinks that were getting poured. Seeing a little boy with curly hair sitting on top of Harry’s shoulder was the cutest thing ever. She didn’t realize the little boy was Beau until she noticed his dimpled smile. Her smile dropped as she took in what he looked like.

He was literally a miniature Harry Styles. The Me Myself & I + Gucci sweater he had on just proved he was Harry’s son.

“Hey Lu.” Ricky, a server greets his coworker. “Do you know if that woman is single over there? She dropped this cloth on the way—“

“This is a baby’s bib which means she’s not single.” Luna shakes her head looking down at the bib. “And who are you even pointing at?”

“Well not anymore—“

“Who? So I can return this for you.” She cuts him off, making him point his hand at Harry’s direction. Following where he was pointing she widens her eyes.

“That lady in the black dress.” Ricky mumbles, walking off before Luna could scold him for not knowing about Y/N L/N being engaged to Harry Styles. He was the type of guy that had birds for brains.

Walking over to the Styles family hanging out with their friends made her palms sweat and knees weak. Not wanting to interrupt their conversation she tries to slide the fabric onto the table but a man with a familiar cross tattoo on his hand looks at her.

What does one do when Harry Styles looks at them?

“S-sorry my coworker said your fiancé dropped this.” Luna stutters, making Harry smile gratefully. She glances at Y/N sitting in his lap engaging in a conversation with Florence. The blonde actress had a baby in her lap—who was most likely Inez—wearing a blue strawberry dress that reminded her of Harry’s Harryween costume. She’s soon come to the conclusion that it was his costume, just a mini version of it.

“Thank you for returning this. My fiancé was looking for it.” Harry smiles, grabbing the bib off the table.

After nodding and smiling politely, Luna turns around and thinks about the interaction she just had with her favorite singer ever. She will be forever thinking about today.

-

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